I couldn't sleep last night, and so a little after midnight I sat in my front room, and with my arms resting on the windowsill, I just stared out the open window and watched the twinkling lights of the sleepy valley below. So peaceful. So lovely. Just me and my thoughts.
Then BAM! Out of no where something big, black, with wings, flew RIGHT into the screen of my window. Oh yeah it did! Thanks goodness for window screens or that sucker would have smacked me right in my face and I would have died. Died from sheer terror. X's over my eyes and everything.
It happened so fast, and then the big, black, winged thing took off. Not even fazed. But me? I sat there on the verge of peeing my pants. My window is slightly big, but it's attached to a house! A house! Didn't the big, black, winged thing see the HOUSE? AND there is (let me count real quick) seven windows on that side of the house. Seven. And yet, the weird, crazy creature chose to fly at the window where my face was? So of course, my mind (which is capable of rational and intelligent thought when it's really late at night or way early in the morning) INSTANTLY thought, "My vampire boyfriend."
Because there was no way that sucker was a swallow or a bird. No way. It was late and it's a well-known fact that birds sleep at night (I have no idea if this is true or not, but that wasn't a bird). AND we have lots of bats here in Utah. Oh yes we do. Lots. And since we have bats, and I'm pretty dang sure that big, black, flying thing WAS a bat, wouldn't it make sense that the bat flying at my face was a vampire bat? Yes, it totally does. Why else would that thing fly straight into my window? Think about it!!!
Okay, look ... Bella Swan had a vampire that came in her room every night and watched her sleep. You wanna know why? Because he loved her? NOOOO! Because she didn't have a screen on her bedroom window. No screen = vampire in the room. Look at that one chick from that show called Vampire Diaries ... vampire in the room because of no screen on the window. Sookie Stackhouse ... again, no screens, which is odd since she lives down south and you'd think you'd want a screen on your window to keep out stuff like alligators and hillbillies.
So dang it! No vampire boyfriend for me, which could've been interesting, you know, me being married and all, how that would've worked out. But I have screens on my windows. I will never know.
Seriously though, I'm grateful for that thin piece of netted barrier because I WOULD BE DEAD. Heart attack. Wet pants. It scared the beejeebies out of me. No joke.
If it was my vampire boyfriend, then he needs manners and needs to learn to ring the bell.