What do you want most? What are you doing to get it?

Back in September I had this idea that I should go out and get a part time job. Oh, all the things I could buy--new couches, trips, all the shoes I wanted. Why not? The kids were in school, this would be great... only it wasn't. I knew after one day--yep, one day--that I had made a terrible mistake. (You can read about it here).

It was at that point that I resolved to make writing, the thing I loved most, my career. I would put everything I had into it and give it my all. I would devote myself to it. Yes, the money aspect of writing comes in like a trickle (or, so it does for me right now), but I was determined to be better and do better. I knew I could do WAY better than I had been to that point--stop Netflixing around, stop hovering on Facebook, stop making excuses. Good goal, right? Well, I am weak. I am only human (see video below)

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But here I am, eight months later, and I am back to screwing around. How did this happen? HOW? Because it sooooo much easier to watch Youtube or hang out on social media sites than it is to sit your butt down, place your hands on the keyboard, and write. Oh, it is! I get sucked in by stupid things too like hamsters being fed tiny burritos or boys face planting it when they try to do a backflips in their graduation gown (Yes, these are real videos).

WHY? What happened to my resolve back in September?

It's easy to be lazy. It feels good to be lazy--well, in the moment it sure does. Lazy is easy. Working at anything it hard. I originally had a goal of writing a book by April. At least having the first draft complete. Well, it is now May. I have maybe, just maybe, half a book written. That was EIGHT months ago!!! What the heck?

Time has flown by and I am no where near completing my goal. It got me thinking about that quote: If you keep doing what you've always done, you will get what you've always gotten.

It's true. It's amazing how quickly we can fall into bad habits and how extremely easy it is to get in our own way. I'm sabotaging myself. Just me. No one else.

I read an amazing article by Shannon Mayer about the secrets to success as a writer and how she became a successful author herself--she has come so so far since she first asked me to read and review the first book in her zombie series. You can read it here.  Her point number one hit home. It actually socked me in the gut-- Write. Write a lot. That right there was the very thing I WASN'T doing.

"What? You can't be an awesome writer if you don't write! Say it ain't so!"

There is no way I can find the kind of success I want as an author if I don't freakin' write! It's plain and simple. So I have resolved to do better. I have to. What I'm doing right now isn't working. Not for me.

I had hoped to put out at least two books this year, but because I ruined that for myself--screwing around--I will be lucky if I can get one done. That is my new goal, though. I will complete this novel and I will get it out by the end of the year. I would like to have this book written by the end of June. Yes, that is a lofty goal, especially after I have let my writing-self go, but I need to jump back on the author treadmill and push myself to do more than I have ever done. I'm flabby. I'm out of practice, but it must be done.

"Come on fingers, don't fail me now!"

So hang in there with me friends and fans, I promise to be better at this writing thing :) Because getting a part-time job doing something other than writing seems really, really unfun and yucky. So I am going to claim the Bob The Builder motto and do this thing. "Can I fix it? Yes, I can!"

** Yes, the irony of using TWO Youtube videos in the blog where I berate myself for wasting time watching Youtube videos has not gotten past me. But this is the last time, I swear :)