Angela Scott
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Want to annoy a writer? Just ask them these 6 questions.

3/21/2011

45 Comments

 
(There is a point to this rambling, so just hang in there. Bear with me).

Everyone thinks it’s a child’s preschool years that are the worst, which in a lot of respects it is. (I mean, the whole wiping bottoms thing totally sucked).  But now I have a teenager and it’s a WHOLE different ball game. In some respects, I’d rather go back to wiping tushies than have to deal with puberty and hormones.

I swear I was never THAT bad as a teen. I was respectful, courteous, did my homework, kept my room spotless, and NEVER once questioned my parent’s authority or mass amounts of wisdom. And I never broke out crying for no good reason at all either.

Okay, I lie. But I was pretty good in comparison to a lot of teens out there.    

Actually, my kid isn’t so bad. He’s pretty respectful to teachers, adults, and his friends’ parents. He’s courteous and kind (most of the time . . . brother and sister excluded). He doesn’t drink. He doesn’t smoke. He still thinks girls have cooties and he hangs out with a pretty good group of kids.

So what’s my problem?

The kid drives me CRAZY with all his questions. Seriously. Question after question after question. I thought kids only did this when they were two, not when they’re almost fourteen! What the heck?

I actually had to tell him today, “That’s it. No more questions. You’re at your daily limit.”

Here’s the thing, little kids ask questions like: “Why’s the sky blue?” or “If I drop this egg, will it bounce?” or “How much do you love me, mommy?”

Teenagers ask questions like: “What does douche bag mean?” or “Can I have these twenty dollar bills in your purse to buy Mountain Dew for me and my buds?” or “So what kinda car are you gonna buy me when I start driving?” or “I have a ten page report due tomorrow in science, can you help me?” or “Why do I have to shower after gym?” or “Why do I have to make my bed? It’s only gonna get slept in tonight.” or “Danny’s parents are out of town and he wants me to hang out and have a sleep over, can I?” or “The principle didn’t call today, did he?”

It’s hunky-dory, I tell you. Like I said, a whole other ball game. To make matters worse, these questions are fired at me one right after another. Most of my answers are: “No”, “Never”, “Over my dead body”, and my favorite, “Because I said so.”

So what does this, if anything, have to do with writing?

(Drum roll, please)

Writers, just like moms of teenage boys, get asked a lot of annoying questions as well. (Ta-Da. See how I tied that in? Clever, huh?).

It’s true.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If a question is asked out of genuine interest, then no matter how bizarre the question, I really do try to answer it. But there are some questions that truly annoy me, no matter who is asking them. Here’s a few:

1)      Oh, but hasn’t someone written a book just like that before? What’s his name? You know, the guy who made a kazillion dollars? It was really good too.  (Well, thank you for crushing my soul and a year’s worth of work. Here’s the thing, usually my book ends up being NOTHING like the kazillionair’s book—which could be a good or bad thing for me—but the person who asked, now thinks I’m a hack).

2)      Are you writing? (Usually asked while I’m smack dab in the middle of writing an intense scene and it’s going well. It’s usually followed by additional questions that then sucks away my creative mojo and the momentum is lost).

3)       So why aren’t you published yet? (This is usually asked in a “you-must-suck” kind of tone. I usually respond with, “I thought you were going to try and lose 20 pounds by the first of the summer? What happened?).

4)      I’m working on a little gem of my own. Do you think you could take a look at it for me, see what I can do to spruce it up? (No. When I’m looking at your little “gem” I’m having to take away from my own work. And I can tell you right now, almost every time I’ve said sure, I end up regretting it. The work usually needs a lot of help and then I’m left trying to find a kind way to tell them this without hurting their feelings. I hate being put in that position).

5)      Is your novel any good? (Why no. My novel is crap, but thanks for asking you jerk!)

6)      What’s your novel about again? (“Again” is the keyword. Insert feelings of failure right here).

For the most part, I love being asked about my work. I love it when people genuinely want to know how things are going because they want to see me succeed and celebrate my success with me. Maybe I’m the jerk for not being patient enough.

All I know, is that there are some questions, that when asked, make my teeth clench and my shoulders stiffen—just like the questions asked by my teenage son—and I just want to say, “Enough. No more questions. You’re at your daily limit.”

So what kind of questions do you get asked, and do they annoy or flatter? And if you think I’m being unfair, let me know that too.  Honestly, I’m opened minded (unless I disagree with you, of course). 

45 Comments
Elaine link
3/21/2011 06:18:20 pm

Being a Mum is never easy. The escalation in intensity of outcome related to questions quotient is quite scary. ;)
The Brian's Novel cartoon was sooo funny. Whatever the question, when it is accompanied by a smirk it is irritating.
I'm perfecting smiling self-deprecation. :)

Reply
Misha link
3/21/2011 07:15:57 pm

Hahaha I love the cartoon!

Yeah those questions you mentioned are pretty bad.

But it's usually the tone that gets to me. For some reason, people think that my writing means that they are free to be patronizing.

Grr.

Reply
Sierra Gardner link
3/21/2011 08:44:13 pm

These were funny! I haven't had too many rude questions but I do often get the 'oh - what a nice thing to do in your spare time' statement fairly regularly.

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Calla link
3/21/2011 10:19:36 pm

last night my husband looked at the spine of the binder holding my unedited first draft. He said "what does that say?" then after interpreting my fat tipped sharpie scrawl he said "THAT's the title of your book?" and started to laugh.
And he wonders why I don't let him read what I write. I told him he could try being supportive once in a while. He sarcastically replied that it was a good title.

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Lisa Romeo link
3/21/2011 10:37:47 pm

Oh Angela, I see you and I have been at the same social events, talking to the same group of clueless, tactless folks!

Commenter Calla, above, I tell my husband the best way to "support" my writing is to not ask about it!

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Patricia Leaver link
3/21/2011 10:39:33 pm

I have two teenagers and a one toddler so my day runs the entire spectrum of pointless questions! Very few of my personal friends or family know I write. I did thins in purposeful avoidance of those dreaded questions! I still get them every now and then though

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Traci Kenworth link
3/21/2011 10:45:13 pm

Those types of questions annoy me too along with: "Are you busy right now?" Assuming, of course, that I'm sitting around twiddling my thumbs instead of busting my bottom seated in the chair.

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Sarah McCabe link
3/21/2011 11:24:51 pm

Heh. You've got it easy. My daughter came up to me out of the blue the other morning and said, "Mommy, why are we alive?" No joke, she's only 7 and she's already questioning the meaning of existence. Fortunately she's also intelligent enough to at least grasp an understanding at the answers to Life, the Universe and Everything because she isn't amused when I say, "42!"

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Elisa link
3/21/2011 11:54:17 pm

Those questions are awesome! You write the best blogs ;)

#4 is sooo true!

Oh and as far as questioning kids, isn't it fantastic when you bring a kid to the movies and they won't stop asking questions--super loud-- throughout the whole thing LOL! Last time I bought popcorn. That did cut down on some of the questions *grins*

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Michele Shaw link
3/22/2011 01:11:54 am

I love being asked, "So when is your book being published? Anybody can get a book published these days, right?" I don't have a teen yet, but yes, I'm dreading the hormones!

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Kaye Peters link
3/22/2011 01:53:21 am

You've hit the nail on the head. As an unpublished author I get these questions all the time, or variations of the same. As a mother of a 1yo and a 3yo I get the "why?" and "how?" questions every other 30 seconds. At the end of most days I just want to go in a corner, cover my ears and rock myself to sleep.

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Lili Tufel link
3/22/2011 01:58:25 am

Great Blog! I have a 16,11,9 yo who love to ask q's. I usually answer them: U R being too lazy to asses and answer your own Q. Look around. Think and analyze. Look for clues. You just want the easy answer & I'm not giving it to u. People who ask stupid questions will usually get this answer from me: "What do you think?" In sales, he who asks the questions controls the conversation.

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Anaya Baker link
3/22/2011 02:08:39 am

Number 2 is my pet peeve. When you hear the keyboard clacking and I'm bent over the computer, chances are I am writing! And I completely agree, once interrupted the mojo doesn't just come back immediately...

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Anne-Mhairi Simpson link
3/22/2011 02:54:32 am

I thank my lucky stars daily that I live alone for exactly these reasons. Only my close friends and family know that I'm writing and my mother is actually the most annoying. She's only trying to be helpful, but I think 30 years' experience means that when she asks "how is the writing going?" I actually hear "why are you wasting time talking on the telephone? You'd be published by now if you didn't waste so much time!"

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Carol Riggs link
3/22/2011 03:12:24 am

Ha, these are SO true. I also hate it when people ask "What's your book about?" (altho I suppose it's good to have a pitch sentence/blurb on hand in my brain).

I love this part:
Most of my answers are: “No”, “Never”, “Over my dead body”, and my favorite, “Because I said so.”

LOL. Very true and apt.

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Mike link
3/22/2011 03:36:37 am

I love these questions and have personally experienced them several times. Now, I will be prepared with several of your answers.

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Chantele Sedgwick link
3/22/2011 03:55:59 am

Ha ha ha!! I hate the "Why aren't you published yet?" one. So many people don't realize how hard it is to actually get published. It's hard to explain it to them too, since their eyes glaze over and they stop paying attention to you! :) Great post!! LOL

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Mary Lindsey link
3/22/2011 04:16:07 am

My favorite is, "So how did you get published?"

After my release, this question is going to be 100 times more maddening.

Great article. I have a fifteen year-old and two fourteen year-olds. My house is FULL of hormones and angst. ;) Hang in there. Folks say it gets better. I'm going to believe that.

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Rachel Morgan link
3/22/2011 05:50:39 am

Hahahaha!

Questions from other writers are cool. It's questions (just like the above!) that come from non-writers who TOTALLY don't understand that really get to me! (Not always, sometimes non-writers are really sweet and great, but not often!)

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Diana link
3/22/2011 06:25:24 am

lol. soooo true. I love the one about reading their stuff. You and I always seem to get into this trap. It makes me wonder what people thought of us way back when. haha. Good post.

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Gina Blechman link
3/22/2011 08:41:56 am

Great video clip. Yeah, I've definately had my share of both irritating and flattering questions. My favorites are the ones along the lines of "so...do you think you're going to try to get it published someday." What are they expecting me to say. "No. I've spent my whole life writing and the last two years writing and perfecting this novel, but no, I just thought I'd tell you all about its genius and then never let anyone see it." Yet it's amazing how many people ask "so you're a writer. You plan to do anything with your writing?"
*Sigh*

<3 Gina Blechman

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Ricki Schultz link
3/22/2011 02:26:45 pm

Haha -- so true, Angela!

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PK Hrezo link
3/22/2011 06:54:33 pm

LOL... I'm glad I read this. But the outlook for parenthood is not so good. Mine are 6 and 4 and it's tough now, but better than before. Yikes I'm scared for the teen years. My daughter is already a sass.
I love your writer questions. They pretty much sum it up for me too. I hate when peeps automatically assume because you're writing a novel you are going to be the next JK Rowling and will be wealthy in your near future. Ouch! Much to live up to there? Guess it's nice to be believed in, but let's wake up to the real world for a minute ...I can't even find an agent yet! lol
And I agree... I get old friends sending their writing to me, and I have to refuse because it's a can of worms I'm not ready for. Only trusted crit partners for now.

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Madeleine link
3/22/2011 09:06:56 pm

LOL! Great video. Yes I have heard others mention the problem with annoying questions. I find that if you say "I've taken up writing" people smile congenially and look wistful rather than if you say I'm writing a novel or I'm a writer :O)

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deniz link
3/23/2011 01:01:24 am

Great post! I think I'd almost rather answer the teen questions than the writer questions [g] I never know what to say when people ask "oh, you're a writer? when's your book going to be published?" And, yea, I can't bear the "what's it about *again*" either...

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Catherine Ensley link
3/24/2011 08:04:40 am

What I HATE is someone telling me, "the reason your're not getting published is because ..." and then they go on to tell me the reason (My writing is this, or my writing is that) and, get this, they've never read anything I've written! (Famous words of my daughter and my son-in-law).

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Brianna Renshaw link
4/7/2011 10:46:52 am

As soon as I say I'm writing a book, it never fails that the person says, when is it published. Makes it so difficult to admit I'm writing a book out loud.

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Haroon Riaz link
4/9/2011 12:54:17 pm

Lovely post. Enjoyed it very much. Very true, but few have the guts to admit they are bugged by those questions.

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Reem
4/9/2011 01:18:24 pm

For some reason, I only get asked about my writing by people who read the kinds of books you see at the checkout line at the grocery store. So I must say that with all due respect to Dan Brown and his fans, I get SUPER annoyed when someone asks me if I've read The DaVinci Code right after they find out I dabble in literary fiction writing, and after they inform me that that book is the first book they've read since college and finished in one sitting. I always feel like saying "at what point in this conversation did I mention I am interested in writing thrillers?" How does literary fiction translate into The DaVinci Code? Honestly.

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Reem link
4/9/2011 01:21:33 pm

Hilarious post, by the way, and those questions are incredibly irritating, not just to writers, but to anyone!

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Jesi Lea Ryan link
4/9/2011 03:25:18 pm

Ugg! Number five is the worst! So I've had one e-book published, and now everyone is asking me to read their manuscripts and asking me to help them get published. Honestly, I have zero connections in the publishing industry. And I do not have time to critique everyone's manuscript. I have a few people that I read and critique, but these are usually personal friends or people who reciprocate by reading my drafts. I don't mean any offense, but if I helped everyone, I'd never get any of my own work done.

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Andrew link
4/9/2011 03:56:20 pm

The one I'm getting a lot these days: "Ghost writer? What's that mean?" which seems to go around in circles with, "So... what are you writing?"

They never do seem to understand the answers the first time round. Sometimes I have to give up and just change the subject. lol

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Sue Brown link
4/9/2011 06:28:37 pm

I have become a publishing mummy to several people since I got my first story published - ten months ago - because I know everything... not.

As for the kids... I hear you. The questions get more complicated and they don't believe your answers - which is good because I made them up.

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Mary
6/27/2011 06:23:42 am

I have a cousin who is a published writer and he's super supportive of all my idiotic questions but I'm afraid to tell anyone else that I'm writing because of the very questions pointed out in your article.

I do have to say to an above commenter who referenced someone mentioning the Da Vinci code when they found out the commentor was a writer...perhaps that was their way of trying to bridge some common ground between the two of you. If they don't do a lot of reading they may not even realize there's a difference between the different genre types...or even what literary fiction refers to specifically. At least they were interested enough to try and engage you in conversation about writing and possibly reading.

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Mary
6/27/2011 06:25:03 am

Oops just realized this was an older article, I just found it doing a search on google for something else. Excuse my delayed comment!

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Haley Whitehall
8/30/2011 01:41:32 pm

Fun read. You wrote these with a hit of humor but I know the truth of these questions. Unfortunately, many people do not think that writing is a job. Then there are people who think that ANYONE can write a good story. Ugh.

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Rachael Johns link
8/30/2011 10:22:50 pm

You have captured the questions perfectly!!! Thanks for a fun post :)

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Scotti Cohn link
8/31/2011 11:56:22 am

Great article (I came here via your Tweet). I agree with all of your examples of annoying questions. I also find it hard to smile pleasantly when they say things like "I always thought I'd like to write a book, if I could just find the time..." Yes, time is all it takes. I had lots of time, that's why I wrote a book.

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Wodke Hawkinson link
9/10/2011 06:27:22 am

Here's another question: "When are you going to get a real job?" lol
Love your article!

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Anne K. Albert link
9/10/2011 06:32:05 am

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Anne K. Albert link
9/10/2011 06:37:27 am

Sorry about the previous blank message, my fingers are quicker than need be!

Love your questions. The 'why aren't you published' hit a chord. Especially when it ends with a 'because So-&-so, is."

I recall clenching my fists and grinding my teeth and wanting to shout, well, duh! So & So, bless her sweet soul, is published because she paid a vanity press to print her book...and it sucks. But, I didn't.

Author dignity and humility is everything!! ;-)

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Arlene
9/21/2011 08:49:40 am

To all those who have been asked to read someone else's "little gem"...

As a friend of mine says, "Everybody and their mother's dog has a "chapter 1" under their bed." Thoughts of Snoopy and "It was a dark and stormy night..." come to mind. I have people look at me like I'm an alien when I tell them that I write scenes as they come to me, then figure out how to put them together later. Everyone has a different writing "process"!

More power to ya, lady! Loved this entry.

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Kristin link
9/21/2011 09:56:42 am

#4: I know! Last time I said sure, I ended up with a 400-page monster that I still haven't finished. I don't have time to beta-read unless I volunteer for it! I know how much time a good beta-reading takes, so I don't ask others to look at mine unless I can do something equally helpful for them. A beta-reading trade, or maybe housework. ;)

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Darlene link
9/25/2011 02:07:12 am

You're spot on about kids and their questions and about the questions writers get asked.

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Amy link
9/25/2011 04:43:26 am

Those are definitely some good ones. My favorite came when my husband was talking to a young (adorable) girl who said her younger brother was a writer. Mike said "Oh really? My wife is an aspiring writer!"
I am a published author, accomplished freelancer and used to be a magazine editor. ASPIRING WRITER?!! yeah. he got none.

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