Kiss & Tell (Writing Kissing Scenes)

Hmmm... kissing. Most people do it. Even babies give slobbery kisses. Dogs too--if you happen to have your face at their level to be licked. It's a strange thing we do, this putting our mouths on other people's mouths (Yeah, yeah... we humans do a lot of "things" but this is a PG blog and so we're sticking to kissing for now).

Writing kissing scenes in a novel is the HARDEST for me. It is. I don't write erotica or romance so I can only imagine how writing a steamy love scene would be (lots of giggling and weirdness on my part, I can only assume).

Kissing is a pretty intimate thing, and to portray those feelings on paper can be quite daunting. Especially, when you've never experienced fireworks, knees quaking, or electric sparks when kissing in real life.

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Oh, don't get me wrong! I've been kissed plenty of times, but I don't think I've ever had an earth-shattering experience during one. Maybe it's just me. So when it comes to writing a kissing scene (yep, I've written several) I tend to spend a great deal of time fine-tuning it. I want it to be natural and not bizarre, because I've read WAY too many bizarre kissing scenes over my years (a reader rolling their eyes during a kissing scene is never a good thing).

I enjoy and dread writing kissing scenes all at the same time. So what's a writer to do? Avoid writing kissing scenes all together? Impossible. People like other people and we tend to believe that the next logical step to liking one another is to swap bacteria with our mouths. It's what we do. It can not be avoided unless you're writing about purist-type religion based stories. If so, good for you! For the rest of us, we can use some advice.

This is what I've found over my hundreds (if not thousands) of hours of research. Apply where applicable:

#1 READ KISSING SCENES. The more you read what others have done, the more you will be able to spot what makes an amazing kissing scene versus what flops. Sometimes, it's from those "flopped" kissing scenes that you will learn the most. You'll be like, "Ahh, jeez. That's weird and nasty. I will not go there." You can read a great article with some amazing examples at WRITING ABOUT KISSING. 

#2 KNOW WHAT TYPE OF KISS IT IS. Is it a first kiss between two awkward teens? A build up kiss after reading 400 pages of two characters having the hots for each other and deciding to do something about it? A going away kiss? A reunion kiss? All of these kinds of kisses will have various emotions associated with them. That's where reading various kissing scenes will help. You can read more at SHOW ME YOUR KISS SCENES

#3 DON'T WRITE KISS. A passionate kiss (or any kiss for that matter, really) should never have the actual word "kiss" in the description. Example: His kiss caused my knees to sway and my lips to tingle. Yeah, don't write that. What is the character feeling? What is the motivation for the kissing? Each character will have their own. And have you used the five senses? Let those things convey the "kiss" part.

#4 LESS IS MORE. Three pages of kissing will become real awkward real fast. There is no reason to drag out a kissing scene. Not really. You don't want your reader's skin to crawl. At first, add all the detail you want. Go for it. But then go back, do some cutting, and fine-tune that scene. Read KISSING SCENES for more of what not to do. The comments are great too. Don't skip reading those.

#5 SET THE MOOD FOR YOURSELF. I listen to music to help me get in touch with my more sensitive side. Often times, I have one song on repeat and will listen to it over and over while writing a kissing scene. This was the current song on repeat when writing the kissing scene in my current work in progress. Thanks, Ed Sheeran

#6 DON'T RUSH IT. Readers want to root for characters to come together. Readers need to be invested in the characters for a true kissing scene to work. Characters meeting on page one and then kissing on page two will not have the same affect as characters facing obstacles, overcoming difficulties, to be with one another. Another good article: HOW TO WRITE A KISSING SCENE

Now, pucker up and go write a kissing scene that will leave your reader satisfied. Good luck!