If there is a gimmick out there to help me run faster and farther, then by golly I’m willing to give it a go. Running is kicking my hind end, and if there is a miracle shortcut to help me improve my distance, then why not? At this point, I’ll try just about anything.
Sure enough, on the web there are all sorts of things to try. But the one that intrigued me the most (because it seemed easy) was hypnotism for runners—it’s called Zen running. Okay, I am not a big believer in hypnotism, but I’m going to give it a good shot, a “don’t knock it until you tried it” attempt. We will see. I will get back to you on this. (I have a 90 day money back guarantee if it shouldn’t work.)
I found a website that for $19.95 I could download an MP3 hypnosis session to repeat over and over and over to make me a better runner. That is their promise. Don’t tell my husband (for several reasons in which we will get into later), but I did it. I purchased “Keep Running,” which came with a free download called “Never Give Up.” Two for the price of one.
With my headphones in place, laying flat upon my bed, I pushed the play button.
Oh, my goodness! I haven’t gotten to hear the whole thing yet (I plan to get back to it soon, because I really, really want to), but I like what I'm hearing so far.
I think I am falling in love with my hypnotist!
Oh, his smooth, silky voice speaks to me! His slight British accent makes me quiver. I may not run faster, but with a voice that sexy telling me to relax—who cares! I could listen to him all day (I’m a sucker for accents).
The first part of the session is designed to fully relax you by using breathing and visualization techniques. The visualization I found I liked best, was when this sexy (because I’m quite certain that he is) British man told me to close my eys and visualize a nice hot bath where the steam rises from the surface and the warm water swirls over my skin and body. Oh, I just quivered again! If you didn’t, go back and read that in a slow British accent (think Orlando Bloom). I bet you will quiver now.
I started giggling when I first heard it. I couldn’t help it. A hypnotist shouldn’t be allowed to sound that sexy. How the heck am I supposed to visualize being a better runner with a voice like that? I don’t know, but I am willing to listen to it a dozen times or more to see if I can figure it out.
It made me start wondering, was there a female version for male runners? Because I’m all for fairness here. Who would be his counterpart? Kate Winslet, maybe.
I don’t know. The whole thing is so silly, but I guess I would much rather listen to this fine gentleman than that of the old British guy who gave the introduction, who sounded almost like “Master Piece Theater.” I’m not sure what is more absurd—a sexy man or an old fart.
Anyway, I am enjoying myself.
**Disclaimer: I love my husband. He makes me quiver too.