Have you ever done something scary? I did. AND I think I want to do it again.

I hate heights. Actually, I REALLY hate heights. Even standing on a kitchen chair to reach a top shelf scares me. I could fall. I could die. I could fall and die.

I hate Ferris Wheels. I hate climbing ladders. I will NEVER get on my roof. And airplanes in the sky seems completely unnatural--so very wrong (I have flown and I do okay, but I constantly worry I will fall and die).

This past weekend, I had the opportunity to go with some youth (as an adviser and chaperone) to do some rock climbing and repelling. I said that yes I would go and I would watch these daring teenagers. I'd also take pictures. That would be my job. That would be my plan. That would keep me safe and alive. I had NO intentions of climbing steep rocky mountain terrain or throwing myself off the edge of anything. No way. No how. Not gonna happen.

But they kept bugging me: "Come on, Angela! You can do it! It's safe!" or "You'll love it! It's so much fun!"

Oh, the peer pressure from these brave kids and not to mention the repelling guys. They we were like, "Just put on a harness. Just wear one and we'll hook your safety tether to the rope and that way you can watch the kids go down without fear of falling off the edge. It's for safety measures."

Okay, I can do that. for safety. I SOOO don't want to fall off the edge of a cliff. Safety is good. Safety is real good. I didn't know that was a trick--one stepper to making me climb down the edge of a mountain.

So I put on the harness (one strap around my waist and two more for each leg) and then they hooked a safety tether to the rope. I was safe and I was happy. I cheered each kid on. Even the big burly, tough acting kid who started to have doubts. I think he even cried a little--quite endearing. I only mocked him a little.

Then they said it was my turn. "My turn? Oh, heck no."

They kept badgering me, encouraging me to give it a try, and finally I gave in (total brain malfunction, that's the only thing that makes sense). Their biggest argument, "If you can overcome doing this, this thing that seems so scary and hard, then the next difficult thing in your life won't seem so tough. You'll be stronger and more confident."

Okay. I could use more strength and confidence. It was a pretty good argument and so, I was led to the edge, my face staring at the cliff's vertical surface in front of me, trying not to look down.

Then I looked down.

OH MY GOODNESS! And people think this is fun? I just didn't get it. This was terrifying. This was INSANITY. I was allowing insane people to tell me that a tiny little rope would hope my weight as I walked down the mountain horizontal (because that's what they tell you to do--lean back, away from the wall, away from safety). That's completely nuts. Why would I want to toss myself over the edge of a perfectly good mountain?

I started to shake. My nerves were setting in. But I didn't want to look like a wimp in front of all those brave kids, so I decided to give it a try. They kept telling me not to think about it. But guess what? All I could do was think about how I was going to fall and die.

I was told to put my feet on the very, very edge. Hold the rope at my side as a brake (to stop my decent at any time) and then step over. It took several tries AND a repelling expert to use the rope next to me and repel down beside me, before I could take that first step over the edge. (Just so you know, the first step is the hardest--it's absolutely terrifying).

With that kind man's encouragement, and the teenagers up above me, hanging over the edge and telling me how awesome I was, I slowly made my way down the mountain. When I reached the bottom, my legs were like jelly--not because it was physically tough, but because it was mentally tough. It was so scary.

I did it! I repelled a mountain. I did it! I did it! Wow.

The kids up above yelled down to me, "Look, now you can cross this off your bucket list!" (They totally think I'm super old).

I yelled back, "Thanks! But repelling NEVER was on my bucket list!" That's the truth. Being dipped in chocolate at the Hershey Spa back in Pennsylvania--THAT is on my bucket list. NOT defying death.

As I stood below, after my decent, watching the kids repel I keep thinking, "Wow, I did that really tough, scary thing. Me. Yes, me. I did it. I DID IT!"

And you know, as I look back and remember that feeling of accomplishing something so utterly terrifying, I do have a sense I can handle other scary tough things that come my way. I can do it.

You know what else? I'm actually thinking of going repelling again. I will have an opportunity in August, and I just might go. It doesn't seem so bad now.

Your turn. What is the scariest thing you've ever done? How did you handle it? I'd love to hear your experience. 

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