Don’t make eye contact. If you do, you’ll have to buy their book.

9/26/2011

I’m a jerk and I’m also a sucker. Depending upon the day of the week, I fluctuate between the two.

Let me explain. First, I’m a complete sucker. If you knock on my door, selling magazines that will keep you from joining a gang, and then flash me a picture of your babies waiting for you back home in Georgia, or Florida, or California, I WILL buy a slew of magazines from you. Magazines I don’t need (thus the reason I subscribe to Allure—a magazine I despise).

I’m such a sucker that I’ve been known to hand these solicitors ice cold drinks. I’ve even filled up their water bottles for them on more than one occasion. And once, I had a girl from Sweden ask me if there was any way I might be able to drive her to her sponsor’s home when she was through knocking on doors. She was young. It was getting dark. I said yes. Several hours later, she came back, and I piled her big bag of books and her bike in my van, and drove her home.

This is why my husband placed a NO SOLICITING sign on our front door. To stop the madness.

I’m also a jerk.

Last week, I went to our local Costco with my husband. We happened to walk up the aisle where an author had set up a station to sell her book. I noticed it was YA (my genre) and the pull to go over and talk to her was great. But at the same time I didn’t want to have to buy her book. So I refused to look at her. I’ve done this same thing at writer’s conventions. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact.

Because I know myself. Even if the book was about “How to Watch Paint Dry”, I know I would buy it. All they would have to do is look at me, and I would handing over my Visa. So, to keep myself from becoming a sucker and buying something I don’t need, I become a jerk.

I ignore them or I pretend I’m on my phone (which makes ignoring easier).

I’ve done this at Barnes and Noble (my children slowly gravitated towards an author who had cookies set out on her table, and I yanked my kids back—“NO COOKIES! I don’t need a picture book!”) . I’ve done this at writer’s conventions as well. I have completely ignored Richard Paul Evans when he had set up shop years ago at my local book store; I just passed him on by. And now, I was doing it to this poor author at Costco. I mean come on, that takes a lot of guts to set up a book signing at Costco, a place where people are coming to buy frozen chicken and boxes of soup in bulk. It’s tough enough to do a book signing at a book store let alone a warehouse.

But I did it. I passed her by. I didn’t even turn my head her way. I bought my stuff and then I left.

I also knew I had to come back in an hour to pick up my pictures, and that whole hour I kept thinking about how rotten I was. How could I do that to her? I’m an author myself, for Pete’s sake! I should be supportive. I should have at least said hi. What a jerk I was!

Karma was going to come back and bite in my big ol’ behind. I was certain of it. The idea of being a jerk ate at me for that whole hour and I just couldn’t let it go.

When I went back to pick up the photos, I noticed the author was still there. So I made my way to her. Even though she had no idea I had been a jerk, probably hadn’t even notice me pass her by like all the others, I knew it and I had to make things right. I approached her and said hi, and then ended up talking with her for quite some time. Come to find out, she was a pretty nice person (an author a nice person? Of course). She gave me some great advice, answered my questions, and even told me to email her if I had more.

And yes, I bought her book. But it was so worth it. The price of the book balanced out the advice she gave me. I need to be more supportive of the local authors in my area and I’m determined to do just that. I may not buy their books, but I can at least say hi.

I know, if ever I do a book signing (a very tough and humble thing to do—makes me shudder just to think about it), someone smiling and saying hi would be highly appreciated.

Karma. What goes around comes around, I’m certain of it.

And to pass on more Karma, I’m giving away my signed copy of WATCHED by Cindy M. Hogan, the author brave enough to set up shop at Costco.

If you would like a chance to own this book and pass on some karma too, just leave a comment to this post saying so.

What do you do in those situations? Do you walk on by or do you stop and say hello? Am I the only rotten one out there who does this kind of thing?

26 Comments

Marc Mattaliano link

9/26/2011 04:36:28 am

Excellent post, Angela, :-) Got a lot to say, especially from the opposite side of that story, if you're interested...

This feeling arises in me more often when I need something at Shop-Rite or Walmart and donation booths are set up at entrances like they're taking all the consumers inside hostage, however it's an incredible real life conflict and you're amazing for pointing it out.

I've held two book signings myself...one at Mendham Books (seen on the Real Housewives of NJ, where Teresa Giudice hawked her cook book and argued with her brother...we're not all like that, by the way) and one at a holiday bazaar type thing where I bought space for a whole weekend among other salespeople (who were way more professional than I probably was).

Neither event saw much traffic at my table, mainly because I'm not much of a self-promoter or carny, however not only did I have copies of one of my books for sale, I also had early copies of an old novella I wrote in college ( I turn 31 Friday, if I can date this) and two preliminary boards of covers for two books currently in the works. I did that to show that I wasn't putting my heart and soul into one work...the good one they could buy was only the beginning, ;-)

As it relates to your conflict, from the other side of the window, it can feel a bit desperate. Most of the time at the bazaar I spent on my laptop working on an additional new book, however anytime people walked in, I looked up and tried not to give out any puppy-dog eyes, though with guns all over my main book's cover, it was hard to appear 100% innocent, ;-) If they met my eyes, I said hello. If they checked out my table, I told them I wrote the items they saw, gave them a little explanation. If they wanted to talk, I was more than happy, though I put most of the decision-making in their hands, and refrained from any "come oooooooon, buy one, give it a shot, come oooooon." Sometimes authors signing books or salespeople can get really overbearing and I didn't want that.

What I did want was for people interested in the subject matter, looking for an exciting tale about vampires and elves in futuristic Dublin to pick up a book they'd likely enjoy. What I DIDN'T want was for people who would likely let it sit on their shelf and take it from people might like it to buy it for themselves, ;-)

Point is (if you've gotten this far), you wouldn't have been a jerk for speaking with this author a little while and continuing about your way. Believe me, if she was eager enough to meet possible readers that she'd set up a table at Costco, she appreciated meeting you whether you bought a copy or not. Anyone selling books behind a table (aside from international celebs hawking instant "bestsellers") expects to see more people than they end up selling a book to. So the attention, the chance to get her voice heard in any way? A good thing.

You know what else I had at my tables? Little cards with my social networking pages and one of my email addresses, in case they were interested in contacting me after they left.

Eye contact, fine. Turning down a sale, fine. Don't be a sucker. Just be tactful!

Remember: as fun as it would be to yell at a Jehovah's Witness about how you're living in sin (you're not, but lying makes it doubly naughty), you worship Satan and sacrifice religious folk who minister at your doorstep? THAT would make you a jerk. Kindly saying, "no thank you, I am not interested," and shutting the door?

Pretty much the equivalent of not making eye contact...albeit on your porch, ;-)

misty provencher link

9/26/2011 06:48:12 am

Dang, Angela, we're all jerks at one point or another, I think. I feel your pain because I've had a few too many hard sells that have scared me off from wanting to approach a booth either. I get you.

Amanda

9/26/2011 07:29:30 am

I always try to smile and say hi..while chanting "do not give in and buy!". Luckily authors don't often set up shop here...but those people with samples? Or the kids trying to get to to buy whatever they are pushing... It's so hard!

Nancy Lauzon link

9/26/2011 09:12:50 am

Well said, as always. For me, it depends on what's going on in my day. I have been both a jerk and a sucker -- like you, if somebody takes the trouble to ring my doorbell, I usually make a donation or buy what they're selling (especially chocolate bars). With authors, most times I walk on by. I know, horrible, huh? I've been on the receiving end, having done a couple of book signings, and it doesn't even matter. Kharma's gonna get me too. Unless I win this book and pay it forward, LOL

Jan May link

9/26/2011 09:52:09 am

I chuckled all the way through reading this. I am just the same. Thank goodness that door to door selling is fairly unheard of in my part of the UK. I only have to contend with the double glazing salesmen (we have it) and a NO SOLICITING sign (it's invisible to sales people apparently). We do get the odd Jehova's Witness too, though we haven't seen them since hubby was woken up from sleep after night-shift. He answered the door with his dressing gown undone (groggily half-asleep and accidental). Didn't have to say a word.

I've never seen an author anywhere else than a large bookstore, and those are few and far between in my neck of the woods. Even then, book signings are a rare occurence.

Just as well - I'd be broke!

Diana link

9/26/2011 11:35:23 am

I had to laugh remembering what James Dashner told us at our first writer's convention. So true.

Cary Caffrey link

9/26/2011 11:39:50 am

I know! Isn't it hilarious. We all enjoy talking to each other, but when you put up that rack of books and swag... (sigh) all the rules change.

I like it best when I'm at an event where there's lots of people to talk to. That way, people (or me, when I'm on the other side of the table) don't feel pressured to buy. They can just gab, and the buyers can shop (and gab).

Jessica

9/26/2011 12:30:41 pm

I'm a jerk, too. But mainly to the Direct Tv guys. They bug me. But, I do it because, like you, I'm a sucker. Would love to get the book and then pass on the good karma!

Brooke R. Busse link

9/26/2011 12:30:42 pm

Ooooh, pretty cover. 0-0

I wish I could find authors nestled in grocery stories. It would be like a wonderland.

Juliana

9/26/2011 12:56:55 pm

Oh yeah, I totally get this. I always feel horrible when I pass by an author because I know how it could be me one day.

Caitlin link

9/26/2011 01:35:56 pm

Oooh, I'd love a chance to win this book!

To be honest, I haven't run across many author signings! However, our BX has actually had a few since we've moved here. We're on a tight budget and I normally don't have the money to buy a book, but I always make a point to at least smile and say "Hi". Most of the time I strike up a conversation, but I never have the heart to tell them that I truly don't have the spare money for a book! They never seem to set up close to payday.

Angela Scott link

9/26/2011 01:57:17 pm

So nice to know that I'm not the only sucker/jerk out there.

It's tough, I tell ya. I want to be kinder and perhaps I will find a way to show support for my fellow authors without making a sympathy buy if the book doesn't "speak" to me. I just know I cave when someone gives me those hopeful eyes.

I know how much heart goes into writing. I also know how hopeful we all are that we will find the readers who will love our books and enjoy them. If nothing else, I should walk by, say hi, and wish them the best of luck. I mean, we could all use a little luck and kindness in this very tough business of ours.

Thanks for letting me know I'm not alone. Your comments are very much appreciated. And Marc, thanks for letting us see it from the other side of the table. Good to know :)

Shannon Mayer link

9/26/2011 02:29:39 pm

Yup, I'm in the same boat. I think they see me coming from miles away. :)

Would love a chance to win the book, can always use a good read. :)

Shannon

Aura link

9/26/2011 03:56:36 pm

I try to say hi to authors even if I I'm not going to buy their book but sometimes I get nervous and veer around their table at the last second. I'd be happy to be a sucker but sometimes social anxiety intervenes.
My real weakness is for the kids raising money at the entrance to the grocery store. I don't carry cash so I always feel like a jerk saying no to kids raising money for their extracurricular stuff.

Stevie link

9/27/2011 02:39:18 am

I too avoid eye contact with peeps at the store... especially girl scout cookies. yet, every year I buy two boxes but what would happen if I bought two boxes everytime I saw a girlscout... I would have a lot more inches of me to love thats for sure. But yes, I should go up to brave authors more often even if I choose not to buy their book(but I probably will) Great Post! Very impressed by the Cost-co author, BRAVO!

Debra Kristi link

9/27/2011 03:25:16 am

Hi Angela! Enjoyed your post. I guess I am a jerk as well. But only because...

1. I am not allowed to spend money and I am enough of a sucker that contact will end in a purchase.
2. For my own safety it has been requested that I don’t answer the door to strangers in the afternoon or later. Sorry magazine salesmen.
3. I fear opening my mouth and sounding like a babbling idiot.

Secretly I would love to go talk with the author.

Susan MacQuoid link

9/27/2011 10:02:57 am

I'm a sucker for other authors. I'm a jerk to anyone selling anything else.

Kimberly Kinrade link

9/28/2011 05:11:26 pm

Yes, I always say hi. And yes, I always end up with a book! lol Fortunately I'm not in those situations often. I live a humble live in the country where we don't get around real live people much! (And there are very few book signings at Walmart.)

I do however, ignore the people with carts outside of Walmart, selling holiday love or political something or other. I avoid eye contact, totally. Unless they are selling Girl Scout Cookies. Then I am all over that!

Alex link

9/29/2011 04:34:25 am

I wish I lived somewhere authors did signings and sold their book themselves - even in a supermarket! Very very brave of her.

Shelly Brown link

9/29/2011 04:36:23 am

LOL! I was almost sure that you were talking about Cindy and low and behold!

I have seen the Floridians trying to stay out of gangs and the Swedish Girl. I always fill up their water and then tell them that I have a policy not to buy things from door knockers. They don't like that but then it's nothing personal against them or their product.

But this must mean that you live pretty close to me and that makes me smile! You are a brilliant blogger...maybe some of it will rub off by proximity ;)

Virginia Ripple link

9/29/2011 05:48:30 am

I had to laugh because this could have been my story. I put up a NO SOLICITING sign after I bought several magazine subscriptions that never came. Didn't get a refund either. Hubby was irate, hence the sign. Now it's our policy never to open the door to strangers. Unfortunately, they have still caught me as I was leaving. Bad luck.

Hubby also knows to expect me to make a donation if I have a little cash when we see those parked outside stores, especially during Christmas.

I love that you went back. I've often thought about doing that, but never have. I'll remember your experience next time I'm in that situation.

Thanks for sharing.

Avery Olive link

10/1/2011 04:52:50 am

Wow great post! I've done this too and felt sick about it. But I too buy just about everything and have to drawl the line somewhere.

Ranae Rose link

10/1/2011 06:09:48 am

If I see an author doing a book signing, I always stop and talk. Maybe too much. lol

Cindy M. Hogan link

10/1/2011 04:33:27 pm

So freaking funny! I'm laughing my head off. I'm so glad I didn't turn out to be a total pushy jerk...I've run into some of those. I just try to make new friends and have fun. You made my day. And you know Shelly Brown? Such a small world.

Cori C

10/2/2011 04:41:06 am

That happens to me all the time! I buy books every month at my local RWA chapter that I will never have time to read. But I buy them anyway. Just to be nice. I'm not going to stop, but I'm going to try to cut back. The author might be just as happy with my kind words as the forty cents they make on the book. Hmmm...

kelsey d

10/3/2011 09:17:31 am

Ha, you remind me of me in so much with this! I'm not an author (maybe some day..), but I'm the same way when it come to making eye contact with someone and thus feeling like I HAVE to buy something because I made the mistake of acknowledgling this person's existence.. I probably would have guilted myself into going back to talk to her too. Lol

Looks like a good one though!

Don’t make eye contact. If you do, you’ll have to buy their book.

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