Angela Scott
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An emergency hotline for writers would be AWESOME!

6/15/2011

13 Comments

 
Picture
Ring.
Dispatch: W-1-1, what's your emergency?
Writer: I...I don't know where I am. I think I've lost my way. I've lost...my writing mojo.
Dispatch: Don't worry. We will have you back on the writing path soon. First, I need you to ask you a few questions.
Writer: Okay.
Dispatch: What were you writing right before you became lost?
Writer: Well, I was right in the middle of a climatic scene where the boy reunites with his grandfather. It was going extremely well. The words were flowing and I was meeting my daily writing goals. Then all of a sudden nothing. The words have stopped all together.
Dispatch: Is this YA or Adult?
Writer: YA
Dispatch: Contemporary or paranormal?
Writer: Contemporary.
Dispatch: Can you describe to me your surroundings?
Writer: Well, let's see. There's my desk and my laptop. A diet pepsi. A few writing books and then there's this HUGE wall that came out of nowhere. 
Dispatch: Can you please describe the wall?
Writer: It's a wall.
Dispatch: This is definitely serious. Can you please be more specific? Give it a try. How tall? How wide?
Writer: Umm...it's so high I can't see over it and it's really wide that I can't see around it either. Oh, and it's made out of mocking bricks.
Dispatch: Are you certain?
Writer: Yes, I'm staring at it right now. Each brick has writing on it that says, "You suck" or "Get a real job" or "You're not a real writer."
Dispatch: Continue to stay on the phone with me, our emergency feedback team is on their way.
Writer: I think I hear their sirens in the distance. 
Dispatch: Good. Good. I want you just to relax, take a few deep breathes. Now I want you to try sitting at your desk. 
Writer: I can't.
Dispatch: Yes you can. Just sit down.
Writer: I don't know...
Dispatch: Put your butt in the chair.
Writer: Okay. Okay.
Dispatch: Is your laptop on?
Writer Yes.
Dispatch: Have you loaded Microsoft Word?
Writer: Yes.
Dispatch: Very good. Very good. Now I want you to type your name.
Writer: My name?
Dispatch: Yes. Something simple. You can do it.
Writer: Okay. It's done.
Dispatch: Do you hear the emergency feedback team yet? Are they there?
Writer: I can hear them. They're on the other side of the wall. Wait...they're yelling something at me. They're yelling...YOU CAN DO IT!
Dispatch: Very good.
Writer: They're removing the bricks one at a time. I see some light.
Dispatch: Very good.
Writer: They're saying, SET SMALL GOALS and IT'S OKAY TO WRITE CRAP.
Dispatch: First drafts usually are. It's common. All writers experience it. You're not alone.
Writer: I'm not alone. I'm not alone.
Dispatch: Do you see the emergency feedback team? Have they removed the bricks?
Writer: Yes, yes. They're handing me a pencil and a notebook. They also handed me a bunch of sticky notes and Stephen King's book
On Writing.
Dispatch: Perfect. You're in good hands now. I'm going to let you go now. Stay with the emergency feedback team, otherwise known as Writing Critique Partners, or WCP. They will continue to work with you, encourage you, and they help you tear down the bricks should more appear.
Writer: Thank you. Thank you so much!
Dispatch: No need to thank me. That's why we're here. Now, go write a little something. I know you have it in you. You're going to be just fine.
Writer: What if I have plot troubles or I'm unsure about my character's motivation?
Dispatch: Just call W-1-1 and the WCP will help you through it. That's our job.

I know for myself, my emergency feedback team (my critique group) has come to my rescue more times than I could count. They're amazing ladies and I appreciate their advice and willingness to to help me fight past writers block or storyline issues. Everyone should have a set of critique partners to bounce ideas on and get help to push past the tough times. If you have an amazing person in your life (you're WCP or Emergency Feedback Team), give them a shoutout here in the comment section. Tell me a little about that fantastic person who pushes you to keep going, who's advice and wisdom you crave the most.

As for the drawing winner (see previous blog post), Becka at Sticky Note Stories had her name drawn. I will contact her and send her a little something for commenting and for backing up her files. (Backing up files, however you do it, is important, peeps. Back up yours today). 

Also, if you just feel that you haven't had enough of me yet, pop over to my other blog at Ready, Aim, Hook Me. I wrote a blog post on how writing, just like comedy shows, is subjective. Check it out. Good stuff.  

13 Comments
Julia link
6/15/2011 12:56:53 am

So funny & yet so necessary! If you set it up, they will call!

Reply
Becka (stickynotestory) link
6/15/2011 01:12:07 am

That's an awesome post! I've definitely called W-1-1 before for help :)

And yay! Thank you for holding the drawing! :D I'll email you right away!

Reply
Gina Blechman link
6/15/2011 01:18:35 am

"can you describe the wall?"
"It's a wall."
Hehe. This was great. We've all been here, haven't we? Definately retweeting your link. :-)

<3 Gina Blechman

Reply
Elisa link
6/15/2011 01:43:07 am

I LOVE this post ;)

Reply
Lyn Midnight link
6/15/2011 02:05:01 am

First of all: LMAO. You deserve a crown for that. Second: I think for the problem described the cure is Wild Mind by Natalie Goldberg. ^_^ Third: I'd like to thank my crit partner, Terrell Mims for pushing. Also, Ava Jae for cheerleading and bringing the happy back in my life. And finally, my best friends: Mila, Svet, Jana, and my mum, all of whom are NOT reading this. *accepts Oscar award* *cries* :D

Reply
Megan Frances link
6/15/2011 02:05:54 am

Wonderful post and great timing. I could use a demolition crew to help me knock down some bricks.

I love the permission to set small goals and write crap. I'm retweeting too.

Reply
Rachel Giesel link
6/15/2011 02:42:43 am

Angela, this is amazing! I love that dialogue, and it is so true! I wish there really was a number you could call like that. Great post. I'm retweeting. <3

-Rachel

Reply
Kathy Reinhart
6/15/2011 05:21:46 am

Brilliant!! I 'skim' through so many posts without really getting into them, but you're 2 for 2 in the past week. I loved it!!

Reply
Juliana link
6/15/2011 12:08:55 pm

This is hilarious, and yet oh so true.

Reply
M.J. Fifield link
6/15/2011 06:14:27 pm

So, how did you get a tap on my phone?

Hard to say what my favorite part was. The "describe the wall" bit or the "put your butt in the chair" exchange.

Too funny!!

Reply
Diana link
6/16/2011 12:39:58 am

This is a great post. I felt like I was there. lol.

Reply
Syd Gill link
8/14/2011 01:08:50 am

Hilarious as usual! And this totally reminded me of this video:

<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/rXLHWmjA5IE" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Writers are like kids and sometimes even, God forbid, a man when he has a cold, huh?

Reply
Syd Gill link
8/14/2011 01:09:51 am

Ooops, I guess the embedded link doesn't work. Here it is: http://youtu.be/rXLHWmjA5IE

Reply



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