I'm a Big Fan of Breathing

Yes, scared should equal spurred into action to do better, right? Wrong. Now that the Ragnar is two weeks away, I should be training nearly every day and I should have been training faithfully for the past while, right? Wrong, #2.

I think I’ve gotten to the point that I am so nervous about this whole thing, that I have shut down. Why? I don’t know. I was training so hard before and now, well, not so much. I guess I figure the Ragnar is REALLY going to suck, and that is the way it is. I already know I will be walking most of it since I am a big fan of breathing. For me it isn’t the bad knee, or jarred joints . . . it’s all about the breathing or lack of being able to do so, even with my extra-strength inhaler.

Yes, I am a fan of breathing—I like breathing. Honestly, I don’t hate running as much as I used to, now that I embrace my limits. I run and know that when my chest tightens, I can stop. It’s okay. My Ragnar teammates are okay—they just want me there. The pressure has been lifted. The tears from feeling like a failure are slowing and I am realizing that, gosh darn it, walkers are people too (Scott’s aunt who is in van #2 and participating in the Ragnar is a walker. This is her motto. Love you LouRee).

I AM A WALKER WHO HAPPENS TO RUN A LITTLE. This is who I am . . . and it’s okay.