 I’m a sucker for a good deal. I’m always keeping my eyes peeled, searching for a bargain. My best deal ever, I’d have to say, was when I went to a local consignment shop and found a pair of super cool shorts for my teenage son, brand new with tags on sale for $3.00. Wow. But the really awesome part, I got the shorts home, handed them to my son to try on, and when he put his hand in the pocket he pulled out a $5.00 bill. Sweet! Part of this “Super Deal” process is hitting the local yard sales in my area. I love me some yard sales. Oh, boy, the fun stuff I have picked up for a dollar or two. Bargains, bargains, bargains. Well, this past Saturday, we woke up the clan and headed out to hit some sales. For the most part, many yards sales are crap. I REALLY hate it when they have these huge colorful signs that say, “Neighborhood Yard Sale” or “Multi-Family Yard Sale”, and then you show up and it’s a couple of people with one table and all their old clothes and dusty, dirty shoes laying on top. Totally false advertising. But, it’s part of the process—you have to weed through a lot of bad to get to the good. (Same thing goes for writing and reading). Now, let me tell you about the good. Wowzer, wow wow! We ended up at this estate sale in the town next to ours, and before I’d even seen what they had out for sale I was intrigued. I mean, this old house looked something along the lines of the one in the movie Zanthura—old, with lots of character and appeal. To get to it, you had to meander down this long winding driveway with orange poppies blooming on either side. There were trees, huge and draping. Perfect for an old wooden swing. Off to the left, in a weedy grove, sat a weathered picnic table and chair set. Take this house and then place it in the scene of like Bridge to Terabithia or The Spiderwick Chronicles and WAH-LA, you have an idea of what I was looking at. This house captivated me, and my mind whirled with creative possibilities. Also, I wanted to buy that house. I wanted it. I mean, how could it not be full of magical possibilities? It LOOKED magical. It had to have had an attic and a spooky cellar and doors that led to secret rooms and crap like that. Someday I will write a book with that house in it. I totally have a setting. Now I just need a story to go with it. Anyway, this yard sale was incredible too! Oh, my heck, all the cool old stuff they were selling. Treasures. Pure treasures. And they were practically giving this stuff away for nothing—antique desks and tables and the most amazing old pieces of furniture. But all that aside, I began to lose myself in the midst of these hidden pearls tucked away in cardboard boxes, things that probably had no monetary value whatsoever, but were interesting nonetheless. An older woman, who had owned the property, had recently died and her children were sorting her belongings, cleaning out the home that had housed decades and decades of memories. One box, contained 1950’s smelling soaps and perfumes, still in their boxes, unused. Another, had shoe boxes, I’m guessing from the 1960’s or so, of the same high heal shoe, but in various shades and colors. They looked nearly perfect too. One box held envelopes, dozens and dozens of envelopes all from Utah Power and Light Company (it hasn’t been called that for about forty years now) in which the company sent recipes to this older woman. Recipes? The electric company sent recipes? Weird, yet slightly cool. That’s interesting stuff right there. There were books and old records and vintage purses and clothes—a complete blast from the past. I did purchase a couple of things I found interesting or seemed to tell a story (see pictures below) and my husband went crazy buying all sorts of crap he plans to turn around and sell on eBay and make a small fortune. He bought an old pair of black salt and pepper shakers for a buck that were made in the 1930’s, very rare, and can probably sell for thirty dollars. We spent approximately $40 and will probably make well over $200. (Some items I’m keeping for me just because). So now I have a setting for a story. All I need is some characters and a plot. Where do your ideas come from? Do you start with characters first or settings? I think I normally start with a character and then go from there. This is weird for me to start with a setting. That story will have to wait, though. I have others on my plate that need attending to. Leave a comment. I’d love to hear where you get your inspiration. Next to bargains, I love comments (and people who leave them).  It's an old shoe shine kit. It's missing a few things, but still, it's really cool. I picked this up for $2.00. Can you just imagine the story behind this?  This old suitcase even had part of a traveling tag on it from the railway. Look at the old key dangling from the case, the buckles, the hardware. I wonder who used it and where they went.  Look at this amazing book! "An Old Fashioned Girl" and do you see who it is written by...way down near the bottom...Louisa May Alcott, the lady who wrote "Little Women." It doesn't have a copyright page, but it does have an inscription in the front saying, "Presented to Edith from her teacher xmas 1900."  Cute little children's suitcases. I know they're not as old as some of the other items, but they still had a unique look to them that I couldn't resist. They are each made out of stitched together cardboard and they're in perfect condition.  Here they are, just few of the old cook books I picked up for a quarter (I have a whole stack--why, I don't know. I hate cooking). But notice the blue one on the left with the band on the cover? That's the holiday cookbook from Utah Power & Light Co. I should have grabbed more. I could kick myself for not grabbing that old lady's mail with all those recipes in them. Oh, and now I have a cookbook that tells me how 300 ways to cook an egg. I thought there was only one way--scrambled.
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 Ring.
Dispatch: W-1-1, what's your emergency? Writer: I...I don't know where I am. I think I've lost my way. I've lost...my writing mojo. Dispatch: Don't worry. We will have you back on the writing path soon. First, I need you to ask you a few questions. Writer: Okay. Dispatch: What were you writing right before you became lost? Writer: Well, I was right in the middle of a climatic scene where the boy reunites with his grandfather. It was going extremely well. The words were flowing and I was meeting my daily writing goals. Then all of a sudden nothing. The words have stopped all together. Dispatch: Is this YA or Adult? Writer: YA Dispatch: Contemporary or paranormal? Writer: Contemporary. Dispatch: Can you describe to me your surroundings? Writer: Well, let's see. There's my desk and my laptop. A diet pepsi. A few writing books and then there's this HUGE wall that came out of nowhere. Dispatch: Can you please describe the wall? Writer: It's a wall. Dispatch: This is definitely serious. Can you please be more specific? Give it a try. How tall? How wide? Writer: Umm...it's so high I can't see over it and it's really wide that I can't see around it either. Oh, and it's made out of mocking bricks. Dispatch: Are you certain? Writer: Yes, I'm staring at it right now. Each brick has writing on it that says, "You suck" or "Get a real job" or "You're not a real writer." Dispatch: Continue to stay on the phone with me, our emergency feedback team is on their way. Writer: I think I hear their sirens in the distance. Dispatch: Good. Good. I want you just to relax, take a few deep breathes. Now I want you to try sitting at your desk. Writer: I can't. Dispatch: Yes you can. Just sit down. Writer: I don't know... Dispatch: Put your butt in the chair. Writer: Okay. Okay. Dispatch: Is your laptop on? Writer Yes. Dispatch: Have you loaded Microsoft Word? Writer: Yes. Dispatch: Very good. Very good. Now I want you to type your name. Writer: My name? Dispatch: Yes. Something simple. You can do it. Writer: Okay. It's done. Dispatch: Do you hear the emergency feedback team yet? Are they there? Writer: I can hear them. They're on the other side of the wall. Wait...they're yelling something at me. They're yelling...YOU CAN DO IT! Dispatch: Very good. Writer: They're removing the bricks one at a time. I see some light. Dispatch: Very good. Writer: They're saying, SET SMALL GOALS and IT'S OKAY TO WRITE CRAP. Dispatch: First drafts usually are. It's common. All writers experience it. You're not alone. Writer: I'm not alone. I'm not alone. Dispatch: Do you see the emergency feedback team? Have they removed the bricks? Writer: Yes, yes. They're handing me a pencil and a notebook. They also handed me a bunch of sticky notes and Stephen King's book On Writing. Dispatch: Perfect. You're in good hands now. I'm going to let you go now. Stay with the emergency feedback team, otherwise known as Writing Critique Partners, or WCP. They will continue to work with you, encourage you, and they help you tear down the bricks should more appear. Writer: Thank you. Thank you so much! Dispatch: No need to thank me. That's why we're here. Now, go write a little something. I know you have it in you. You're going to be just fine. Writer: What if I have plot troubles or I'm unsure about my character's motivation? Dispatch: Just call W-1-1 and the WCP will help you through it. That's our job. I know for myself, my emergency feedback team (my critique group) has come to my rescue more times than I could count. They're amazing ladies and I appreciate their advice and willingness to to help me fight past writers block or storyline issues. Everyone should have a set of critique partners to bounce ideas on and get help to push past the tough times. If you have an amazing person in your life (you're WCP or Emergency Feedback Team), give them a shoutout here in the comment section. Tell me a little about that fantastic person who pushes you to keep going, who's advice and wisdom you crave the most. As for the drawing winner (see previous blog post), Becka at Sticky Note Stories had her name drawn. I will contact her and send her a little something for commenting and for backing up her files. (Backing up files, however you do it, is important, peeps. Back up yours today). Also, if you just feel that you haven't had enough of me yet, pop over to my other blog at Ready, Aim, Hook Me. I wrote a blog post on how writing, just like comedy shows, is subjective. Check it out. Good stuff.  It was a quiet afternoon in the Scott household. The husband was busy doing his thing. The kids were busy doing theirs. And I had plans to do some writing (I know, I know. We're not a very unified family, are we--off on our own).
But as I settled into the writing mode, laptop burning the flesh of my lap, and proceeded to check email and twitter (that's my warming up to write ritual), my computer flickered, froze, and then went blank. Dark screen. What the heck? What happened? This couldn't be right? I began to panic. My laptop and I are like this *crosses fingers* I shut down the computer and quickly rebooted (adverbs suck, so use them sparingly). All kinds of mayhem ensued. First, a list of computer code ran down the screen--stuff I'd never seen, yet knew couldn't be good. Second, it asked me if I should do a recovery scan. Yes, yes, of course! Do a recovery scan. Fix it! For the love of all things good in the world, FIX IT! A half hour into the recovery scan, I received a disheartening message, "recovery not possible." Not possible? What did that mean? What did that mean? Oh, no, no, NOOOO!! Recover, recover, recover. So I did what any sane person would do, I powered off the laptop once more and tried again. And again, "recovery not possible." Don't say that! It's possible. It is. It HAS to be. I decided to try something different. I decided to say no to the recovery scan. Saying yes sure wasn't working. So I said no, just bring up the laptop in safe mode. I clicked my mouse. I waited. Nothing. Black screen. I repeated the process. Blank screen.Saying yes didn't help. Saying no didn't help. That's not fair. I took out the battery. Rebooted. Again, blank screen. At this point all sorts of profanities raced through my brain. (I have children in the house and we have a swear jar and I have no change). I did my best to hold it together. Then I yelled for my husband. He's a computer guy. I needed good news, something to give me hope. Because, I had just spent the past several days working and reshaping my WIP, editing and revising. AND, I didn't back it up on my memory stick. I only saved it to the hard drive. I reworked whole passages, changing the POV from one MC to a another MC--that was painfuly hard work. My husband ran it through some diagnostic tests (that's what computer guys do). It came up with another scary message, "memory integrity failed." Crap, oh, crap, oh crap! I love my laptop. Did I mention how we're like best friends? It's possible my laptop only needs some new memory. So my husband tells me. That's the hope. Fingers crossed. But to order new memory will take time (do you recall how I'm not a very patient person?). At the moment, I'm using my husbands laptop. I hate it. The keys are all weird. It feels unnatural. Wrong. But, I can blog But you know what I can't do? Write or edit my zombie western romance novel. BECAUSE I SCREWED UP! Yes, folks, I screwed up. I didn't use a stick. Not lately anyway. What I do have backed up is old, weeks old. I never saved the new edits to the memory stick. *I'm smacking my head against a wall right now* I'm so hoping the increased memory will do the trick, or otherwise I will have to rely on my own memory to recall ALL the changes I made to my manuscript. (I think my heart just skipped a beat--and not in a good way). Oh, mighty computer gods in the sky, please oh, please, oh, please, let my laptop live! Give it life, if only for a moment so I can use a stick to back up my work. I promise, if you grant me this wish, I will ALWAYS backup my work. I will remember this awful feeling. I will repent of my nonbacking up ways. I will be better. I will be a promoter of using the stick. I will blog about it. I will encourage others to stop reading this blog post, this very instant, and pull out their stick and back up their important files (that sounded kinda nasty). So, if you have a memory stick, use it. Use it now. Don't risk it. It only takes a seond. Hardly any time at all. I sure wish I had backed up my files. I really, really, do. I may not even know if I will be able to retrieve my work until the end of the week (ordering memory takes time). And until it comes, or until we figure out the problem, I can't write or edit. I did this to myself. It could have been avoided. Don't make my same mistake. Do you own a stick? How often do you back up your files? How often should we? Leave a comment (because I love them) and tell me you backed up your files. If you do back up and leave a comment--someone's gonna recieve a prize (a drawing). The best writing advice EVER...I mean it. It's pure genius. (Please no snorts or chuckles).6/5/2011  Photo by smoo 1) Narrative is so much better than dialogue.
2) Adverbs are absolutely essential. 3) Using the tag “said” to carry dialogue is boring. Spruce it up a little by using words like grumbled, declared, cried or gasped. 4) If you must use the word “said” then by all means pair it up with an adverb—“Harold said, sadly.” Now the reader knows for certain that Harold is unhappy. 5) Readers are dumb. They are unable to infer a single thing. Spell it out clearly. If you're still uncertain that your reader gets the gist of what is taking place, then by all means, write it again. You may have to write it several times to ensure that the concept has been thoroughly explored and explained—“Harold said, sadly. The tear sliding down his cheek proved his unhappiness. He cried a little more. He had never been so unhappy in all his life.” 6) Exclamations should be used often! They are the visual signs of excitement and thrill! The proper rule of thumb is at least one exclamation point per page but no more than ten. Double exclamations or exclamations paired with a question mark are AWESOME!! 7) When using dialogue, infuse it with a thick coat of regional dialect. 8) Obviously, words are a writer’s paintbrush. A writer can never use too many. If you write anything less than 150K novels, then return to your novel and see what you’ve missed. Because you have definitely missed something. 9) Building on point #8, NEVER delete words or scenes from your manuscript. Every word is necessary and essential to the story development. 10) Characters must remain consistent throughout the novel. If a character begins the story rich, happy, and full of vigor, then they must end the story the exact same way. Otherwise, you risk confusing your reader by writing too many emotions. A consistent character is ten times better than a character who is flighty and unpredictable. 11) Phrases such as “all hell broke loose”, “needle in a haystack”, “so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk” are not only cute but are widely known terms that people worldwide can relate to. 12) When your character enters a new setting, take two to three pages to describe in detail his or her surroundings. If it is a room in a house, include the description of not only the drapes and rug thickness, but a full description of the sconces on the wall and the pattern of the wallpaper. This is important to the story. 13) A great novel starts with backstory. 14) Never show your work to anyone but your parents, boyfriend, girlfriend or adoring grandmother. 15) Imagination is dangerous and full of lies and deception. Write only what you know. Back it up with facts and references (add footnotes to your fiction as proof of your knowledge). What other funny or bad advice would you add to the list? I know I've missed a bunch.  ( Don't miss the YouTube Video at the bottom. It's Awesome) Okay, so most of you know that I'm writing a western romance with some zombie flare. Because of the zombie aspect, I tend to be directed to various zombie links by zombie enthusiasts or people will tell me their favorite zombie movies (Zombieland and Fido rank the highest). I've played zombie board games and I even own a copy of "The Zombie Night Before Christmas" (not for kids by the way). So it's safe to say I dig zombie weirdness. What most of you don't know is that I have a vegan husband (vegan weirdness?). The difference between a vegan and a vegetarian, in case you are unsure, is that vegans eat NO animal products of any kind, including milk, dairy, whey, lard, gelatin, etc... If an animal produced it or it's produced from an animal, vegans won't eat it. Or such is the case with my husband. He's pretty staunch in his belief and has been a vegan for 18 years now (way to go, babe). Am I vegan, you may be wondering? Ha,ha,ha. No. It's too tough a lifestyle for me. The way I look at it, man/woman didn't climb to the top of the food chain to eat mushed up soybeans and broccoli. Oh, when we were first married I tried drinking Soymilk and giving up eating meat. It only lasted about a week. I come from a meat and potatoes kind of family and as I figure it, if we weren't supposed to eat the cows, then they needed to stop tasting so dang delicious. Vegetables and salads needed to step up to the plate and deliver a palatable goodness for which they lack. Hmmm...what do I want to eat today, let's see...grass sprouts with a lovely vinaigrette or a nice char broiled piece of steak? Sorry. Steak every time. Vegetables are at a disadvantage. I feel bad for them. In my home, there is one vegan (husband), one vegetarian (my daughter), two carnivores (my sons), and one very frustrated mother (yep, me). But somehow, I tend to manage it. I just know not to allow veggies to touch my sons' steak or to allow meat, in any form, to come near my husband's or daughter's food. It's a tricky balance. As for me, cover my veggies in steak sauce and we're good to go--see, I'm easy. Anyway, on to the zombies. My husband came across this animation/cartoon that included a tofu vegan zombie. So of course, I have to share this with you all. I mean, how could I not? Also, there are missionaries in this cartoon. Mormon missionaries? Not sure. They do wear tags and are knocking on doors in the necessary set of two, but the pamphlet in their hands throws me off. Either way, it has all the elements for a great story line--tofu, zombies, missionaries, creepy daughter, mad scientist, monkey, and even a big wheel bike. Jeez, I wish I would have come up with this idea. Okay, maybe it's not the greatest idea, but going out on a limb and presenting something off the wall different--that's okay by me. Different can be good, if done well. So, to provide some cohesiveness to this blog and to relate it to writing in some way, I want to ask, what makes you're story different from the others in your genre? Look at this zombie, for instance--he has tofu for a brain. That's different. Never heard of it. We have genres and sub-genres for a reason--people like a certain type of writing and expect certain things to happen. But what makes yours special? Every book has to have it's stand out quality to elevate it above the rest. Does your novel offer something different than the others you're competing against? Fingers crossed, let's hope so. We all want our books to stand out . . . in the good kinda way. Oh, and if you haven't had a chance to check out the group blog I'm a part of called Ready, Aim. Hook Me, please do. We're looking for submissions to review and would love to have some different genres to read--we've received quite a bit of YA fantasy. A good mystery, horror, romance, or suspense would be a nice change. I also posted over there today about how important the first line in your novel is to hook 2 out of 3 Hook'ers. Please check it out.  There was a time in which I would have NEVER read a self-published piece of literature. I admit, sad to say, I was a literary snob. I had heard the saying, “The great thing about self-publishing is that anyone can do it. The bad thing about self-publishing is that anyone can do it” and so I became leery of anything self-published for that very reason. At writer’s conventions, authors would set up tables with their self-published works and I would simply walk on by. Rude I know, but I felt justified in my smugness.
Self-published, in my mind, was equal to crap. Before you throw rotten tomatoes or come after me with pitchforks or flaming torches, just realize, I’m not the only one who’s had these thoughts. Many people, those who plan to go the traditional route, tend to roll their eyes at self-publishers. This isn’t something new. This attitude has been around for a long time and it is still a battle that goes on today. The reason: A lot of self-published books look and read very amateurish. That’s the plain, hard truth. Lately, with the explosion of ebooks and the ability to self-publish them at such a quick rate, I’ve actually had the great pleasure of reading several ebooks by Indy authors, and I do say pleasure. I have been pleasantly surprised. The stories were great, and I’m honored that someone would give me the opportunity to read their work. I have yet to read a self-published story I disliked. That’s a good thing The bad thing: most I received for free. A few I paid 99 cents, but only a few. But if I had to pay $2.99 or more for these same books, I probably wouldn’t have. (Now you can throw your tomatoes if you like, but I hope you’ll read on and hear me out). I’m not a gambler and for me, if I’m going to spend $2.99 or more on an ebook, it had better be polished. Since there is no guarantee of that, I’m not willing to take that risk. And seriously, that’s exactly what it is—a risk, a gamble. Will I get a great book? Or will I get a book riddled with missing words, jumbled sentences, and mistakes that should have been picked up in the editing stages? Ebooks are exploding like crazy. Amazon sells for ebooks are higher than paperback and hardback book sells combined. It’s a crazy market. And the opportunity for self-publishing has never been greater than it is right now. The problem, it just makes it even easier to get a whole lot of crap into the market quicker. Now, the self-published books I read aren’t crap by any means. As I said, the stories were great. A few, I even wondered why they didn’t try their hand at the traditional route—they’re that good. I could see them on bookstore shelves. But even saying that, these books were still in need of more revisions and more editing. The sad truth of the matter, I fully expected these books to have issues with misspellings and typo’s. I went into it judgmental and with lowered expectations. And sure enough these books delivered the typos and mistakes just as I figured they would. Some books more than others. I would think, with the prejudice that self-publishing experiences, that someone contemplating that route would do EVERYTHING, going above and beyond what is even necessary, to prove people wrong and produce a perfect, polished piece of work. But they’re not. Why settle for mediocre? Why would you want to put your name on something that was anything less that the absolute best it could be? I guess I don’t get that. I do think self-publishing is a trend that is changing and shaping the publishing world for the better. Traditional publishers need to wake up, fix their broken machine, and realize they need to make some changes or authors will skip right past them—authors are doing that very thing right now. The gatekeepers are losing their control, which in some respects is a good thing. But if you plan on self-publishing or have self-published for that matter, make sure your work is as close to perfect as it possibly can be. Otherwise, you’re just feeding into the prejudice that is holding self-published works back, keeping it from being viewed as a respectable means of getting books into the hands of readers. Which is a shame. I would love to see self-published books start kicking traditional books behinds (oh, there’s a few out there, but not nearly enough). A couple of tips: 1) Don’t rely on yourself to edit your book. You can’t. It’s your baby and you will always think it’s beautiful. If you have the means, pay for a professional editor to do a line edit. They will catch things you will miss. They will provide you with ways and opportunities to improve your work. Why wouldn’t you want that? Now, I understand this can be pricey. I get that. I also understand some writers simply can’t afford it. Then either a) you wait until you can afford it or b) you find some really, really smart writerly friends to proofread your work and then you take their advice. And I’m not just talking one or two people here. I’m talking several. If you’re going to skip out on the professional editor, then you better believe you have your work cut out for you. You find the meanest person in your circle of writer friends, the most blunt, and you give it to that person to edit. Put yourself in the line of fire and take the bullets—this will make you better. I promise. 2) Get a great cover. Don’t judge a book by its cover, well, we do. People will look for any reason to diss your self-published work—don’t let the cover be the thing that keeps them from ever opening your book in the first place. If you can afford a graphic designer, do it. Again, pricey, I know. But it will be well worth it. Do what you can to make your book look as traditional published as possible—I’m sorry, but that is the standard. And DON’T have your name be bigger than the title of your book. You’re not famous. You can’t get away with that, so don’t do it. 3) Don’t forget your interior layout. This is important as well. There are rules for the way the interior of your book should look. Check out books. Look at the way they are set up. Look at the type font, page number placement, headers, etc… Again, it needs to look like the books you see on the shelves. 4) I think the most important thing to remember is not to rush your book. I know we get excited when we’ve worked so hard to complete a novel that we want to share it with everyone. Take your time. Be careful. Do your edits and rewrites. Because here’s the thing, once you put your book out there for the world to see, it’s hard to go back and fix the mistakes. Oh, you can. But people will remember and it’s hard to get them to change their mind once they’ve made their opinion. You only get to make a first impression once, so make it the best it can be. Check out this article. I think she makes some very valid points to consider. The Pit and the Pendulum By Cynthia Robertson of Self Publishing  When I was a junior in High School, many moons ago, my best friend, Jeanette, and her boyfriend, John, decided that it would be a marvelous idea if I dated John’s best friend Mike. Then we could go on couple dates together—movies, skating, school dances! Yippee! Fun, huh?
In theory, the idea worked. Mike was super cute (hubba, hubaa) and we seemed to have a TON in common (okay, not really. We both played the clarinet in band and that was about it. Uber nerds, I know). So, under pressure, both Mike and I agreed to go steady. From the very beginning, I knew that even though Mike was cute and played a mean clarinet, something wasn’t right. He was nice enough. He opened doors for me and paid for our dates. We talked on the phone at night and laughed and laughed, but whenever we were together, in person, everything became awkward and weird. As a sixteen-year-old girl, I had no idea what was wrong. Everything looked right—he was cute, I was cute (if I do say so myself), we held hands, he went to a dance together—but something just didn’t mesh. The chemistry just wasn’t there. He was more like a brother to me. Our first and only kiss during our weeks of “dating” ended with him leaning in, missing my lips, and kissing my chin. I was standing on the porch step and so I figured that was the reason for the mishap, so I let it slide. No big deal. It happens. But I never pushed for a second kiss and he never offered. Not once. After awhile of going on like this, we broke up with each other. It was a mutual decision. No hurt feelings. I think we were both actually quite relieved. But our friends wouldn’t let it go. “You’re perfect for each other,” they’d say. “Look how cute your dance pictures are! Adorable!” And they nagged and hounded until we agreed to try it one more time. It lasted only two weeks before we called it quits again, much to our friends dismay. Mike and I were always friendly to one another after that, but we no longer dated. It wasn’t until years later, that through the grapevine, I was told Mike was actually gay. No wonder our relationship didn’t work. On the surface, we looked like a happy couple. We looked like a typical girlfriend and boyfriend doing typical girlfriend and boyfriend things—except kissing and making out. But underneath all of that facade, we were both miserable. We were trying to be something we were not. No amount of peer pressure was going to make the relationship work. How does any of this tie into writing, you may ask? Well, it ties in like this: Sometimes a story or storyline just doesn’t work and no matter how hard you try to make it. This is where I am right now in my writing. The first draft of my zombie western romance book is done, and now I’m in the editing stages. Or, I should say, I thought I was in the editing stages. Actually, it’s more like a rewrite-the-whole-darn-thing-from-the-beginning-to-fix-plot-holes-and-amp-up-the-tension. And boy is it tough. It’s overwhelming to say the least. I love the story. I’ve had a blast writing it, but there are problems with it that need corrected. There are story lines that just don’t work. I’ve had this pointed out by my critique group and they are right, darn them. My group gave me excellent ideas on how to ramp up the risk, and how to fix the story to make it more powerful. The ideas are perfect, IF I can implement them correctly. BUT, it’s going to be a ton of work. It won’t be easy at all and I like easy. Editing is one thing, rewriting is another, and it’s going to suck big time. So, my book is floundering, just like a fish on the end of a hook. As I figure it, I have two options: 1) Remove the fish from the hook and slip it back into the water, set it free, and move on. There are other stories in my head begging to be written. I can put the zombie book to bed and start an entirely different story. Sometimes, that’s the best option. 2) OR, I can slip the fish from the hook, gut it, remove its bones, fry it up in a pan and serve it with tatar sauce and lemon juice. It will be delicious. I’m certain of it. But it will also be messy. Have you ever gutted a fish? It’s gross. Depending on the day, I flip-flop between the two options. Sometimes I want to chuck the whole thing, give up, and at other times, I love my characters and their story too much to walk away. I know it can be fixed. I know it. I just want to whine about how tough it’s going to be. So what do you do when part of your story doesn’t work? Do you put on your hardhat and get to work? Or do you whine like me and threaten to kill off all the characters and call the whole thing off? Stick up for your Genre! Demand Respect! Fight! Fight! Fight! (In a pillow fight kinda way)5/1/2011  If I told you I was writing a western book, filled with cowboys, saloons, and gunslingers, what would be your first thought?
I can almost bet you didn’t think, “Boy, that’s a serious piece of fiction I could sink my teeth into,” right? No. When you think of westerns, you tend to think of your grandpa. THAT generation reads westerns. THAT generation loves John Wayne and black and white films. Westerns are so outdated. Do people even write that stuff anymore? You’d probably pat my shoulder and say, “Good luck with that, Angela.” And you’d probably even try real hard to mean it. Now, what if I said I’m writing a romance? What’s your first thoughts on that? Cheesy Harlequin books? Fabio? Romance is a big seller, one of the top selling genres out there, yet, I don’t think you’d consider me a writer of the highest quality if I told you I wrote romance. (Romance writers, put your dukes down. It’s not time to fight yet. I’m not dissing you, really. I love me some romance. I’m just presenting the judgment some genres face. Hang in there. Keep reading. Seriously, put the dukes down. The fight comes later). To make things even MORE interesting, what if I told you I’m writing about zombies? Flesh eating, brain munching zombies? The real deal? Would that be a piece of fiction you could wrap your mind around and embrace as literary genius? I don’t think so. You’d just think it weird and that I was weird and I had to be some kind of hack writer of the lowest of the lows. Okay, now let’s combine all three of those aspects—western, romance, zombies—and mush them all together to form a 80K word novel. What do ya think now? Really. Be serious. I bet you laughed. AND I wouldn’t have blamed you. I think I might have laughed too, if it wasn’t me we were talking about here. Because in truth, I’m writing exactly that—a western romance with a scattering of zombie mayhem just for fun. It’s true. I know. You’re probably thinking, but she looked so normal. The reason I bring all this up, is that when I mention my current WIP, I sometimes feel as though people kind of do the invisible eye roll and their brains (BRAINS) just assume I’m not a great writer at all, but more like a “bad writer”, a writer that can’t write for “real.” Have you ever felt that way? Do you want a little respect (R-E-S-P-E-C-T—go Aretha). I mean, in the terms of writing, I still think there is prejudice. I know people who have romantic elements in their novels but REFUSE to be known as a romance writer, as if there is something bad about that (Okay romance writers, this is the time to stand up for your genre and come out swinging). I also think horror writers, paranormal writers, and even sci-fi writers experience less than favorable responses when it comes to their chosen genre. For sci-fi writers, its like being the kid with the Star Trek costume at the prom. That kid’s interesting for sure, but he doesn’t quite fit in, nor does he get asked to dance because nobody wants to be seen dancing with that weirdo. No way. (Sci-fi writers, you can put your dukes up too, if you like. Or you can zap me with your ultra-molecular scramble radar gun. Whichever you prefer). Don’t say this isn’t true, because I know it is. I know there is a lot of judgment taking place—I feel it. I’ve experienced it. I think it’s because in the terms of “respectable” writing, a zombie western romance is not it. Nor is sci-fi or horror, or erotica, or anything at all to do with a vampire. In the mind’s eye of the masses, respected writing goes something like this (from most respected to the least respected): Non-fiction books Literary fiction Historical fiction Contemporary/Commercial Adult Mystery/Thriller/Suspense Adult Contemporary YA Paranormal YA Fantasy/Sci-fi YA Middle Grade Children’s Books Fantasy/Sci-fi Adult Poetry Romance Westerns Horror/Erotica Zombie Western Romance (nothing lower than that) I’m ready for a debate. Let me have it (in a nice pillow fight kinda way). Do you think your genre is too far down the list of respectability, let me know. Stick up for your genre. Tell me why your genre deserves more respect. Fight! Fight! Fight! Actually, let’s come together and rally around one another. A writer is a writer is a writer, regardless. I know that I’m as serious about my Zombie Western Romance as a Literary Fiction writer is about their writing. It’s not about being a serious writer. It’s about being a respected writer. Give my Zombie Western Romance a chance, that’s all I ask. It’s kinda like Tofu. At first, it’s mushy and looks nasty and awful. But fried until its crispy, with a bit of stir fry sauce to dip it in, and it’s actually something you can stomach without gagging. That’s all I want. I want to be like Tofu. How about you?  I know “was” is technically only three letters, but I still hate that stupid word. It sneaks its way into my first drafts, littering my sentences with its presence, and overall fills my life with utter and complete misery. It forces me to reevaluate my very existence as a writer--I suck. I really, really suck—and taunts me, daring me to replace it with something better.
Okay, so I’m being overdramatic, but I still hate that word. I do. Most of the time I don’t even see it there, my eyes gloss over it. It isn’t until I submit my work to my critique members for review that the “was’s” become noticeable—they kindly highlight them in bright yellow for me (sweet, huh?). And I swear, honest I do, those “was’s” magically appeared in my manuscript, scrambling my sentences and popping up like weeds. Because I know I couldn’t possibly have written that many. No way. Not me. I know to use them sparingly. I know I should write with more description, more pomp and zeal. But guess what? I did. I wrote them. Every one of them. I am . . . *gasp* . . . a “was” whore. Yep, I said it. I hang my head in shame and humiliation. I use the word “was” far more than I should. A bad habit in need of breaking. But how? How does someone like me fix it? How do I write with stronger and more engaging verbs? Then, as if in answer to lift me from my self-loathing, I received an email: 6 Things You Should Know about “Was,” by the Grammar Divas . Now, most often times (I’m being honest here) these are the kind of emails or blog posts I delete because in my mind, grammar equals boring. Bluck. Phooey. I don’t need no stinkin’ grammar. But if this truly was an answer (there I go using “was” again), then I needed to heed it as a sign, and read it. So I did. And my eyes widened with pure understanding—just because I used the word “was” didn’t mean I sucked a lot, only a little, and somehow knowing that made me feel better. The Grammar Divas said that “was” is okay to use in a rough draft. It’s the “go-to verb.” When trying to get all your ideas down on paper, sometimes it’s enough to know the hero was sad. Instead of wasting valuable time searching for the perfect verb, just throw it down, move on, and plan to fix it later in the editing stages. (Yeah, yeah. That was my plan all along). They also said that using the word “was” doesn’t necessarily make the sentence passive, just boring. These are only two of the six areas they discussed about the word “was.” To read the others, check out their site. But, these two resonated with me the most. First, because it’s okay to use the word “was” in the first draft. I’m not a horrible writer, just boring. And boring I can fix. There are several things I can do to eliminate “was” and other to-be verbs from my manuscript. For instance, I can start with substituting words. Instead of saying, He was going to the saloon (I’m writing a western) I can write, He meandered his way to the saloon. See? Less boring. Not perfect, but better. Another thing I can try is rearranging the sentence. Sometimes just flip-flopping the order around can erase out those nasty to-be verbs. The man was standing at the bottom of the stairs. I could say, At the bottom of the stairs, the man stood watching. (Okay, I probably wouldn’t write that sentence, but you get the idea). Another way to remove to-be verbs is to try to change another word in the sentence into a verb. Instead of saying, He was watching her from the bottom of the stairs. I could simply say, He watched her from the bottom of the stairs. Anytime you have a to-be verb placed in front of an “ing” word, just change the “ing” word to “ed” and WAH-LA—the to-be verb is eliminated. Simple. I understand the need to kill all to-be verbs. I get it. I mean, to-be verbs show no action. They're just there. And yes, they are boring. Can I get rid of all of them? Probably not, but when I go back through my manuscript during the editing stages, I find it’s not all that hard to give my sentences more punch, more action, by removing the to-be verb and inserting something far more exciting. It’s impossible to write without to-be verbs, so don’t chuck them all, but try to use them sparingly. That’s what I’ve learned. I can do that. I don’t suck. I’m just boring and boring I can fix.  I broke up with Facebook. We’ve agreed to take things slowly, see other networking sites, and I can happily say that Facebook and I have remained good friends. We can look back on the good times—wedding announcements, birth’s of babies, and reconnecting with people long since forgotten—but it’s those bad times (the 36 hour Farmtown marathon and constant pokes) that helped me to realize the relationship was no longer working.
Where Facebook was the aloof “boyfriend” of social networking, not quite giving back, Twitter has become the needy obsessive “boyfriend”, always giving, always wanting to know what I’m doing, what I’m up to, telling me it’s only 140 characters, so why haven’t I tweeted something, anything, yet? And once I do tweet, trying to be a good partner in this relationship, Twitter wraps its arm around my waist and pulls me tight, not wanting to let me go. “Follow this link, baby.” Or “FF that person”. And before I know it, I’ve just had a two hour make-out session with Twitter I hadn’t intended upon. I like Twitter, don’t get me wrong. I like it a lot. Twitter has connections, knows important people, and has the ability to take me places I’ve never been before. And Twitter sure has a super sense of humor too—so funny. In only a few short months since being introduced to Twitter, I’ve met over a thousand people, writers who aspire for publication, just like me. Facebook couldn’t do that. All Facebook introduced me to was The Mafia. So I don’t want to break up with Twitter. It makes me so happy. It really does. But I’m a writer who is easily distracted. It doesn’t take much to waste away valuable hours that should otherwise be spent writing. Twitter and I need to find balance in our relationship—an equal give and take. I’m slowly working on it, but Twitter doesn’t seem to understand my reluctance to make-out all the time (Twitter thinks it’s quite the catch—handsome and irresistible). I assure Twitter “it’s not you, it’s me” and we’re moving forward with a greater understanding of one another. Hopefully things will turn out well. So is Twitter good for writers? Depends on who you ask. Judd Apatow, writer and director of comedies like The 40 Year Old Virgin and Funny People, explained his active Twitter habit by saying, “I’m looking for any distraction not to write.” Isn’t that what we’re all pretty much doing? He went on to say (about the Internet as a whole), “I'm supposed to be writing a new screenplay. You know, it's hard to write, because the computer now isn't like a typewriter; [the computer] has everything fun on the world on it. So everything is a distraction from writing. I'm not looking at a screen; I'm looking at every episode of "South Park," every video ever made, every porno ever made. Every time I sit down to write I could just type in "kid vomits in dad's mouth" and not write for two hours.” Isn’t that the truth. So yes, Twitter can negatively affect a writer’s ability to write. (Today I have written nothing except this blog about how Twitter affects a writer’s ability to write. Do you see a problem here?) BUT, Twitter has an awesome side too: -Networking with like-minded people who would otherwise be out of reach. -Inspiration and encouragement from fellow writer. I can’t tell you how many times someone’s 140 characters has lifted my spirits—saying exactly what I needed to hear. -All the up-to-date information in our writers market, the trends and advice every writer needs to be aware of right at our fingertips. Ask a question and a slew of answers will follow. Quick and fast. People are quick to help. -Exposure and promotion. I know this is very big for a lot of writers who have something to promote. I’m still in the writing stages, so I don’t have anything to sell but my sparkling personality *flashes a grin and a wink* I’m happy I met Twitter, but just like every new relationship, it needs to be taken slowly. A couple is only as good as each individual in the relationship. If I lose myself, allowing Twitter to take control, the relationship will quickly fail. I don’t want that. I want this particular relationship to succeed. So what do you think of Twitter? Love it? Hate it? Somewhere in between? What other benefits have you found by using Twitter? |
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