 As an author with a book coming out early next year, I've spent a great deal of time researching the BEST ways in which to promote and market one's book. Because lets face it, just because you write a book doesn't necessarily mean people will buy it--especially if they have NO idea it even exists. There are kabillions of sites out there offering tips and guidance, so I'm jumping on board the band wagon and offering SURE-FIRE ways in which to create some buzz and increase your book sales. These methods, if applied correctly, will boost your visibility around the globe.(Warning: These methods have not been tested, but I'm pretty darn sure they'd work. I almost guarantee it).  #1) Purchase 10,000 helium filled balloons (color of your choice; number of balloons is not. You need a minimum of 10k) and have your book title and purchase information printed on the face of the balloon. If you can not afford to have them printed, buy a Sharpie marker and get busy--keep in mind, you will lose a few balloons to this process, so take that into account when placing your balloon order. Once your information is on the balloons, release them into the sky. Everyone loves balloons. People will be excited when they find one tangled in their trees or when one falls, deflated, into their yards. Balloons have been known to travel for miles and miles. This is a great way to find more fans.  #2) Don't underestimate the power of a good tattoo. The most ideal place to have your book title and information tattooed is somewhere on your body that is visible and not hidden by clothing. Preferably, your forehead. Everyone HAS to look at your forehead. Not everyone has to look at your bum. So keep that in mind when putting the tattoo portion of your marketing campaign to work for you.  #3) Everyone LOVES free stuff. Nothings better than receiving a free gift! So why not offer a free pint of whiskey with the purchase of your book? You are bound to get repeat customers and book sales will soar. You will have devoted fans who will skyrocket you to the top of the best sellers list. If you know how to make your own whiskey, all the better.  #4) Public bathrooms are a great place to advertise. Every bathroom stall has a wall or two. Take a moment while your sitting there and carve your book title and sales information into the walls. Not much of a carver? Use the Sharpie marker from tip number one to get your information out there. You could also take the first week or two after your book launch and travel around visiting various restrooms across your nation or put your passport to use and "go" (pun intended) market around the world. Don't get caught. if you get caught, deny, deny, deny. Blame it on a crazy fan.  #5) Everyone knows that people who love to read also love monkeys. Not the big, scary gorillas, but the cute little spider monkeys (Have you watched "Night at the Museum" or "Curious George"--so cute). Hang out in your downtown area with a box of your books and a super smart (non-aggressive) monkey. Have him hand books out to people passing buy on the street. No one, and I mean NO ONE, can deny a monkey. Then charge $40 bucks per book. People will pay.  #6) This kind of goes in line with the bathroom stall tip above, why not hire a graffiti artist to spray paint your book title on long distance trains (not just local transit. Think Amtrak or cargo trains). Many people get stopped at railroad crossings and would love seeing your "ad" fly by. It breaks up the tedium of just sitting there and counting box cars. It may be pricey at first, depending on the talent of the graffiti artist (you do tend to get what you pay for, keep that in mind) but the investment will be worth it.  #7). Bumper stickers! Everyone loves bumper stickers. Get a few thousand printed up and go around town, or hire some kids, and place bumper stickers on parked cars. People might get ticked when they find the sticker on their bumper, BUT do you know hard it is to get those suckers off? Real hard.  #8) Hit all your local games--football, baseball,basketball--and stuff your pockets with business cards with your book info on them. Each time someone scores, doesn't matter which side, toss a handful of cards into the air confetti style. Then move to a new area and do it again. Just keep rotating through the bleachers.  #9) Go around town and superglue several quarters to the ground. THEN superglue your business card with your flashy book cover next to it. People will bend over to pick up the quarter (and can't) and will see your book cover in the process. Maybe you could try in the quarter them by saying, "For only a few quarters, you too could get your hands on a copy of this book."  #10) People love food and EVERYONE has to eat. For minimal cost, set up a hotdog stand in the busiest part of town around lunch time. Advertise by saying, "Buy a hotdog for $9 (or whatever your charging) and get my book for free! Again, people like free things. Why not combine the love of food with a free book? Marketing your book will be hard work. Think outside the box. Be creative. And good luck.
(This is only a spoof. You if take on any of the above tasks, this here blog owner is not responsible. You do so at your own risk. It could be worth the risk though. Just saying.) What marketing tactic do you HATE? What tactics do you think actually work best? What crazy things have you seen authors do to promote their works? I'd really love to know.
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Have a wonderful Thanksgiving Day! 
Be safe--A word of warning from William Shatner 
Since I'm participating in NaNoWriMo this year (good times and lots of hair pulling), AND I'm working on revisions with my editor on WANTED: Dead or Undead all at the same time, AND I'm hosting Thanksgiving at my house this year (for my non-American friends, this is the holiday in which we give thanks for all our blessings by having the women rise early in the morning to shove a turkey in the oven while men eat and then sit zombified in front of the TV watching football) I decided to open up my blog to several authors to do guest blogs and showcase their new book releases. Please give them support by leaving a comment, if only to say congratulations and best luck (they LOVE comments--authors LIVE for them). Check out John Abramowitz's guest post for those of my followers who love a good zombie read with a different twist on the genre. ATTICUS FOR THE UNDEAD And now, today, I'm turning over my blog to my good friend Megan Morrison to talk about her memoir AND THEN IT RAINED. So give it up for Megan! My blog is all yours. Take it away.  Megan’s Mission: Pay it Forward I'm so excited to be visiting this page today. One of the benefits of being a part of Evolved Publishing is that I get to work with some fantastic authors like Angela. We get to share our stories, our tips, and sometimes, our fans. Today, I want to talk with you all about my memoir, And Then it Rained: Lessons for Life. If you're an author like Angela and me, you probably get some raised eyebrows when you tell people you wrote a book. "You wrote a book? Holy cow!? What's it about?" (Sidenote, one lesson I learned very early on -- do not call the accomplishment "finishing" a book. People interpret this statement a little differently, like my former manager, "oh, you finished a book? That's great. I just finished Entertainment Weekly, front to back.") Any ways, right, back to the first question: What's the book about? The answer: It's about me. That's the simple answer at least, and the straightforward one. And Then it Rained: Lessons for Life is a memoir after all -- of course that's what it's about. So why, at age 27 (age 20 when I started) did I feel compelled to write one? Because I wanted to inspire people. What I really wanted, in high school at least, was to inspire one person -- the same person who had inspired me. Actually, Maya had done a whole lot more, giving me a light in some of the darkest times of my life: my parents bitter divorce, my dad's severe bout with alcoholism (over ten failed rehabilitation attempts) and his moving ten states away to be with another woman. That was why when she started going through issues of her own, it seemed only natural that I be the one to reach out to her. Apparently she didn't think so. Or, apparently, I went about it all wrong. Whatever the reason, rather than help the person I looked up to more than anyone in the entire world, I pushed her away, and lost a friend, an idol, and a source of comfort I'd counted on for six years. The outcome wasn't all bad. Sure, I had to rethink just about everything in my life -- if Maya could lie to me, if Maya could hurt me, then couldn't everyone else do the same? But through all of that reflecting on our experience I found some pretty crucial lessons, in particular "never settle." Those two words took me to my dream college, where I found a far bigger, even more meaningful experience than what'd I'd had with Maya. Still that failure to help the person who had helped me stayed on my mind throughout that time -- a crushing burden. Maya never even understood what she'd meant to me, much less that I'd tried to help her. How could I live with that? How could I go forward having taken so much away, yet never having given anything back? What if I paid it forward instead? What if I used those lessons I'd learned from my experience with her to teach other people. What if I took all of that energy I spent focusing on my outcome with her, looking back at how I could've done things differently with her, and put it into doing things right in the future, with, well, the rest of the world? On an August night seven years ago, I sat down to write. I titled the seven page document I completed "mañana." For those of you who haven't taken Spanish, mañana is the word for tomorrow, a symbol of hope, of moving forward. And ever since then, I've continued to. As you can guess if you're a writer, the manuscript for And Then it Rained: Lessons for Life has undergone hundreds of thousands of revisions in the past seven years, yet "mañana" is still in there. My reflections from that night on the meaning of my experience and the message that could be shared with others, have continued to form the story's foundation. It's a story with so many takeaways -- so many lessons. How one person can change the life of another, how part of believing in yourself is believing in what you can do for other people, how you can overcome obstacles to reach your dreams, and how you should keep dreaming... as long as you're alive. To this day, a run in with my former friend and idol -- and they happen occasionally -- is difficult, a reminder of what I couldn't do. But when I come back and read these 76,000 words I've poured my heart and soul into, I remember all I still can do. And did I mention what I'm doing with the proceeds? Oh right, that mission. See, I figure if I make money off the book, it kind of defeats my purpose. Again, I'm writing to help people. So that's what the proceeds will do too. Find out more at http://skybluemission.com/the-mission/. Thanks Angela, for letting me share my story. I hope all of you will check it out and enjoy it! You can purchase the book @ Amazon, Smashwords, and Bookie Jar. Zombies have Civil Rights, too. Just ask John Abramowitz, author of ATTICUS FOR THE UNDEAD11/20/2011  When you write about zombies, you tend to form relationships with other fellow zombie writers. We are a dying breed, you know (pun intended) and must rally together in support of one another. Actually, zombies are on the rise (ha,ha--another pun). Zombies are the new shiny vampire. When John Abromowitz approached me about reading his novel ATTICUS FOR THE UNDEAD (released today. YES, today folks!) I said sure. I love reading about zombies and any new take on the subject matter intrigues me. I love to see how creative, how different, people can be when it comes to zombies. But I worried. This was the month of November. NOVEMBER. Not only I was I jumping on board and doing the NaNoWriMo write a novel in 30 days thing, but I was also in the middle of working with my editor on revising WANTED:Dead or Undead for it's February 2012 release date. I was pretty dang busy and wasn't sure I could fit reading a novel into my day. So my yes was a soft yes. If I got it read, I got it read. If not, I would have to let him know I just didn't have the time. I read his book in two days. I couldn't help myself. The writing was extremely well done--especially all the lawyer talk (I actually emailed him and asked if he was a lawyer, because I couldn't imagine anyone writing the way he did without having a background in law. Sure enough, John is a lawyer. It shows in his writing. Very believable and well done).  So what is this book about exactly? Well, I took this from John's site: It centers around an idealistic young attorney, Hunter Gamble, who works in a very special area of the practice -- arcane defense. Twelve years ago, the world discovered through an event called The Unveiling that vampires, werewolves, zombies, and other creatures previously thought purely mythical were, in fact, real. This changed the fabric of American life in a number of ways, not least of which -- they needed somebody to go to court for them! And so, with the help of shy-but-energetic research attorney Kirsten Harper, Hunter sets out to make the world a better place -- one arcane client at a time. (Don't call them supernaturals, it's rude!) When a young zombie walks into Hunter's office accused of murder (by brain-eating, of course), Hunter must navigate a complex web of political, legal, and cultural obstacles to secure the man's freedom -- if he can. If you like zombies (or witches or vampires) and if you like law, then this will be a great read for you. I mean, can you imagine what it would be like trying to defend a witch or a zombie or a vampire? How do you prove their innocence with the types of laws we have in place today? Now, imagine trying to prosecute the undead for a crime. How difficult would that be when zombies and vampires leave no fingerprints? No DNA? And witched and vampires can levitate so breaking and entering of a 4th story window is possible. Well, for an example of what the prosecutor is up against, John has put together this little snippet together from the prosecutors point of view (this is entirely for fun, but could you imagine?). Enjoy a sampling of his writing. Then go out and buy his book so you can experience it for yourself. OP-ED CONTRIBUTOR Vampires and Drunk Driving By ELLIS BOYER Let's face it, the Unveiling has thrown many parts of the American justice system into disarray. For instance, given that roughly 95% of zombies possess only the most basic level of awareness, how could one ever be competent to stand trial when it kills a man or woman? Similarly, should werewolves be held criminally responsible for acts committed during the monthly Change, since most scientists agree that those acts aren't voluntary? And lawyers and judges throughout the country are scrambling to determine what effect the existence of so-called "undead" beings has had on inheritance law. But there is one area in which our legal code inarguably needs reform: our drunk driving laws, which were written before the existence of vampires was widely known. There is general consensus in the scientific community that it is possible for a vampire to become inebriated -- while they cannot consume alcohol itself, they absorb it indirectly if it is present in the blood they drink. There is also consensus that intoxication affects them in familiar ways, including loss of fine motor control. Therefore, a drunken vampire behind the wheel poses every bit as much threat to the safety of his fellow travelers as a drunken human. Yet it is much harder to determine whether or not a vampire is drunk. After all, how would one administer a breathalyzer to a creature that doesn't breathe? While it is well-known that I oppose most aspects of the Post Unveiling Tort Reform Act (sometimes called "PUTRA") sponsored by Congressman Hoyt Boone, one thing he and I agree on is the need for warrantless blood tests of persons suspected of driving while intoxicated. This would greatly reduce drunk driving by the vampire population since, although their hearts don't beat, the blood a vampire consumes lingers in his or her body for some hours, and can be extracted through the same process by which humans give blood samples. Many have cited constitutional concerns. I sympathize. All persons would have the right to refuse such tests, as they can refuse breathalyzers now. But murmurs from some elements on the left that this reform amounts to a "police state" or is somehow "totalitarian" are baseless. Rather, this common sense policy would allow us to both honor the rights of our arcane neighbors and prevent countless drunk driving deaths, which are a tragedy for humans and arcanes alike. Mr. Boyer currently serves as the district attorney for Travis County, Texas. Who would have thought that zombies, witches, vampires, and werewolves would need lawyers? If nothing else, it's sure fun to think about and John did a fantastic job of weaving that kind of world together for us in ATTITCUS FOR THE UNDEAD. Congratulations on your book launch, John! Best of luck.   Several months ago I tried my hand at organizing the blogs I follow so I could be more productive in my stalking of fellow writers and book bloggers. I mean, I follow a LOT of bogs--LOTS. When I click on the "Join Site" button, my intentions are pure. I plan to read those blogs. I plan to comment on those blogs. I plan to gleam glorious information from those blogs. Truly, that is my intent. I don't want to be just another face on a blog--a non-interacting face (everyone has a bunch of those--they suck). NO! When you see my face, my plan is to be real. I want to be pals. Super pals.
I thought I did well at organizing those blogs, too. Especially since I'm the most unorganized person you'll probably meet (don't look in my closets or drawers. Don't. I will slap you). So I thought I had it ALL figured out--put blogs into an A,B,C, and D lists. I would rotate through the lists and be an awesome stalker of blogs--an organized stalker. And it worked--for awhile. That was, until my computer *gasp* CRASHED. I lost all the lists (this was done on the bookmarking tool on my browser, NOT though Google reader). My laptop hard drive was wiped clean and rebooted and my browser was updated to the current version. Guess what? Yep. No lists. All my favorites, all my bookmarked pages--GONE. Poof. Disappeared. So I've come up with another plan *rubs hands together* --I'm going to start fresh. I'm going to start over and create a totally new system. I'm going to stalk a new set of blogs and it's gonna be AWESOME! So if you want to be stalked, which why wouldn't you? I'm really quite cool. My mom says so. Then all you have to do is leave a comment in the comment section saying: "Hi there, Angela! Come support my blog by leaving enormously long comments. Tell me how I’m doing. Encourage me and tell me a joke, if you’d like. Let’s be more than faces on a blog. Let’s interact, let’s be pals. You can follow me on twitter, facebook, and goodreads, too. If you're feeling super stalkerish, that is. And I will promise to return the favor. Let's stalk one another!” And I will! I will stalk you! I will support your endeavors. I will RT your tweets (unless your tweets are bizarre and scare me). I will laugh at your facebook updates (unless they're inappropriate). I will give you accolades (virtual pats on the back) when you do something grand. LET'S STALK ONE ANOTHER! It'll be fun! And even if I already stalk your blog, still leave a comment. You will be added to this special BLOGS I STALK list and I will stalk you even more. I'm planning to revamp my BLOGS I STALK list in my sidebar as well and I will add your link so others know I stalk you too. Ahh, this feels good. It's great to turn over a new leaf and try again. I will be better. I will. That's my promise. I will be the best darn stalker you've ever met! Just you wait. DISCLAIMER: I will not follow porn sites or cooking sites or "I love the guy from NCIS" or "Edward rocks my world" type fan blogs. I probably won't follow religious sites or foreign speaking sites. I don't much care for sports so, yeah, that's probably out, too. If your blog is all about cats (or any pet for that matter) I'm not joining. If your profile picture is of your breasts or bum or any other body part other than you face, I'm pretty sure that's out too. And if you're wanting me to do yoga or diet, then we simply can not be friends--those words make me twitch. So let's just say that I reserve the right to just say no if your blog is well . . . weird. BUT, I love book bloggers and reviewers of any kind (I love reading), and I LOVE meeting other writers and authors in all their various forms and in all the various stages in their writing careers. Those are my kinds of peeps. Leave a comment and let's getting stalking one another!  Once upon a time, I thought I knew stuff. Lot's of stuff. I felt pretty confident in the fact that I knew STUFF. I mean. I totally knew that adverbs (lots of them) could mean death to the writer. I also knew that showing vs. telling is a much better way to go--EVERYONE says so. I learned that dialogue tags like, "she exclaimed" or "he declared" aren't necessary and that a consistent voice is key. AND, that's not all, folks. I know LOTS of stuff. Way more than that. The above is only the tip of the iceberg of the STUFF I know. Yeah, I know stuff, a-huh, a-huh! Then I met my editor. As it turns out, my iceberg of knowledge was really not an iceberg at all. It was more the shape and consistency of an ice-cube. Itty-bitty. And I'm okay with that. I love my ice-cube of knowledge, because I know that several years ago, when I first started pursuing writing as a career and not just as a hobby, I didn't even have an ice-cube. I had one measly snowflake of knowledge--one crystal. So my ice-cube of knowledge is pretty darn amazing. Even though sometimes I feel like the more I learn the less I know. But I'll tell ya, I'm SO glad I didn't rely on that ice-cube to get me by. OH, boy am I glad. I shudder at the thought of going about the process of writing without an editor at my side. Because really, writing is all about trial and error. What works and what doesn't. And as writers, especially when we've been working on a project for a great length of time, we become so close with it that we can't see the mistakes, the plot holes, the inconsistencies. Not until someone points it out to us. A second pair of eyes--professional eyes. I love my alpha readers and I love my beta's. But boy am I in love with my editor. (Melissa, you are amazing! Worth every penny). She makes me look smarter than I am. She does it all--beta read, line edit, content edit, encourage, and suggest. Someone who simply checks your spelling and grammar isn't enough. NO. It's not. Believe me. You want someone who will go through your manuscript with a fine tooth comb and pull out all the tangles. You want that person who will say, "Hey, you've got piece of broccoli in your teeth" or "You're not going outside wearing that, are you?" Think about it. It's like being a celebrity without a stylist. Come on. Just look at this: 
We all remember this. Where was her stylist to say, "Hey, those jeans are awful. Let's put you in a nice dark denim that will flatter your curves, not enhance them. And lets get rid of the belt while we're at it. We want people to love the song, not focus on the pants."
An editor is akin to a stylist. They want people to love your story and the way they do that is by removing the mom jeans from your manuscript. They keep you from looking stupid. And that's what we all want--not to look stupid. No amount of marketing can hide stupidity. You may get some of your books sold in the beginning, but mistakes will scream out at readers saying, "I didn't care about you to get this fixed." Those readers may not come back to read a second or third book, which if you're in this for the long haul, is EXACTLY what you don't want to have happen. You don't want to disappoint. You're trying to put forth a product (yes, a book is a product) and this product will have your name on it. Why would you skip the editor aspect? Money? The cost? Yeah, I can see where editors can be a bit pricey. But there are many opportunities out there. You just have to look and ask around. One place to start is at Editorial Freelancers Association. They have kazillion editors there who would bid on your job. Some are even willing to take a percentage of your book instead of having you pay an upfront cost, so look around. Just remember, what you pay is what you'll get, so skimping on an editor may not be a good move in the long run. Scout out the internet, put out feelers on Twitter and Facebook. Check editorial sites and services and see what works for you. As I said, I don't know what I'd do without Melissa. She has mad skills. She has helped me to hone what STUFF I do know, and make it better. With Melissa, she is taking my ice-cube of knowledge and is helping me to grow it into a good sized ice-block (you know those bags of ice you can pick up at the grocery store? Yeah, that). Hopefully, in a year or two from now, I will have a nice chunk of ice. Thanks Melissa. What's your feeling on editors? Can writers get by without them (please say no)? AND if you know of an editor who is amazing and reasonably priced, comment with their name (business for them and an editor for writers on the prowl). It would be great to get a list going to pass on to those who may be looking, but are tight on funds.  I don't blog about my husband much at all. Though he THINKS I do. He thinks I'm always talking about him (which isn't true). Who has time for that? Editing and Housework can NOT coexist. Impossible! Writer's who puts up with your sorry behind? Kudos to them Vampires, Witches, and Werewolves...which would you be? Okay, there a FEW posts out there in which he may be mentioned. Okay, maybe a few more than I've linked to above, but really? What's he complaining about. I don't say anything TOO bad. 'Cause I like that guy. The other day he said, "Why don't you ever tell them about the awesome stuff I do? Like how I'm strong and super sexy (he actually said that) Why do you have to tell them about the spider in the fridge or the Praying Mantis in the window? That just makes me look weird." Ummm . . . Really, this guy is great. I mean, how many husbands look over while you're on your lap top, and when he sees that you are tweeting nonsensical stuff on twitter, wasting time, says, "Hey, shouldn't you be writing?" Or Let's me sit at my computer day after day for many, many hours and participate in NaNoWriMo every year (my third year in a row) while dishes don't get washed, laundry doesn't get put away, and dinner kinda blows. And he's okay with that. Well, at least he hasn't said anything about it and that is ALMOST as good as REALLY being fine with it all. I'll accept his silence as acceptance. Or When my laptop crashed and I was FREAKING out (really freaking out--tears and all) let's me use his fancy-shmancy laptop while he uses his IT tech skills to recover all my files, transfer them to our network drive, and then reformat my corrupted hard drive. He knew how terrified I was of losing all the work I had done (yes, I didn't back up my files--boy did I learn my lesson). Or Watches our three children so I can go away to a writer's conference (over-nighter--so delightful). I'm very lucky and I know it. I couldn't have asked for a better guy to be my rock of support. True, he hasn't read a thing I've written, but I'm okay with that. Cynical old men are not my target audience anyway :) So, if you were to take this guy (my husband has all sorts of skills): 
 And mix him with this guy (because my guy oozes sexy):  Add dash of this (My guy is a GREAT cook. And he is the baker in our family--wheat bread from scratch. I can't cook so someone had to do it. I write, remember?):  And a dash of that (My guy is FREAKIN' hilarious. His humor is what first attracted me to him. And, he is a bit of a nerd, too. But I like that): And THAT is my husband, folks. You should be able to picture him clearly in your mind. What a hunk, huh?
So my writer friends, if your significant other supports you, loves you, and encourages you to go after your dream, like mine does, take a moment and give them a shout-out below in the comments. THEN, go hug them and kiss them and tell them Angela Scott told you to. (Especially all you NaNoWrimo's out there).  So for Two Cents Tuesday, pipe and let me know which books should have NEVER been made into movies because the directors, creators, actors, took a GREAT book and slaughtered it on the big stage. Here are a couple of books that should've been left alone (the book was great. The movie, not so much): 1) The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (I don't even need to say anything about this one--we all know this one should have been left alone). 2) The Lovely Bones (The book was weird in its own right, but still, it was a good read once you got past all that. The movie, though, was just plain bizarre). 3) Where the Wild Things Are (The movie, though interesting, was BORING. My kids hated it. Who decided to take a ten page children's book and turn it into an hour plus long movie?). 4) My Sister's Keeper (What the crap! The movie didn't even end the way the book did. That's not right. I was so disappointed in that. The book ending doesn't make for a good ending to a movie, I get that. But come on). 5) Flowers in the Attic (Okay, I get that incestuous behavior is a touchy subject--as it should be--but the movie, even if it didn't touch on that issue, it still flopped as a whole. This is a book based on a mother who betrays her children which leads them to . . . do . . . things . . . they . . . shouldn't--need I say more? The book series isn't the best written, but the movie was completely off the mark). 6) The Cat in the Hat (Again, I say, WHAT THE CRAP! This was a child's book and then was turned into a film--directed towards kids, mind you--that had adult, sexual innuendos. Umm . . . fail. My kids still repeat the part when the cat chops off his tail and says, "Son of a BLEEP" Thanks Cat in the Hat. Thanks a bunch). See clip below. What do you think? What books do you feel should've been left alone? Pipe in. Give me your two cents.
 For my 17th wedding anniversary (for some weird reason, I thought we’d been married longer), my husband and I decided to attend the comedy festival in our local area to celebrate having survived marriage this long. I love me some humor—good stuff. Better than a movie anytime. And what’s not to like about watching 24 stand-up comedians compete against one another?
Nothing. That’s what. Pure goodness. As I watched this comedy show unfold, I realized something—it takes a lot of cajones to stand in front of a theater full of people, all alone on a stage. It has to be nerve wracking to say the least. I mean, a room full of people who will either laugh at your jokes or stare at you in silence. Tough. AND, not only that, some of those comedians were freaking hilarious! Brought down the roof. What if you had to follow a super funny guy with your mediocre act? Frightening. There were a couple of comedians that had me in tears, eye water running down my face and stinging my eyes. I just about peed my pants they were THAT good. Seriously, they were awesome. Then there were a few that didn’t even make me laugh once. Not once. Their acts were either so stupid or so vulgar I couldn’t find it funny. But here’s the thing, even though I didn’t laugh, there were audience members who did. Every single comedian who walked on stage got some type of laughs from the audience—some more laughs than others—but no one was booed or heckled. Now, there was this one dude who’s act consisted of him coming on stage dressed head to toe in winter/ski wear. We had no idea what the guy looked like. He didn’t say a word, just held up various signs with his jokes on them. One said, “My act isn’t for everyone.” Then the next card said, “Especially the blind.” That was sorta funny. But then everything went downhill from there. His posters became messed up, out of order, and upside down. He tried frantically to fix it, but couldn’t. He ended up running off stage before his time was up. Poor guy. Then, when all the comedians were through, the judges in the audience tallied up the scores and presented to us the top five comedians with the highest ratings. As I listened to the names read aloud and watched the comedians come on stage, NOT one of the comedians who about made me pee myself was in the top five. Not one. Some of the five were good but a couple of them I actually questioned, “Why? Why them? Why THAT guy?” I didn’t get it. I still don’t. The winner of the competition I wanted to throw a tomato at. Even my husband wondered about it. So to relate this experience to writing and presenting your work either for critique or review, keep the following in mind: IT’S ALL SUBJECTIVE. Underline that. Print it out and tape it to your wall. It’ll make you feel good to do so. Believe you me. Even though some of the comedians weren’t funny in my eyes, they went on to win. The comedians I loved never made it into the top. I don’t even know what their scores were. Again, it’s all subjective. What one person hates, another will love, and vice versa. Just like the comedian with the sign that said, “My act isn’t for everyone,” your writing/story/novel is the EXACT same way. You think everyone will love your work? Just try sending out a bunch of query letters and see how many agents pound down your door to represent you. Go ahead. Give it a go. It’s all subjective. Even literary agents will say this in their rejection forms to you. Here’s an example for you of subjectivity: I went to a writer workshop in which one of the presenters talked about a novel she had submitted to the Amazon Breakthrough Novel Contest two years ago. Her novel made it all the way to the top 50 final novels (out of 5,000 submitted). That’s pretty dang good. So, this past year she decided to submit the same novel again. This time, she made it past the first round of cuts but not the second and her reviews (everyone gets feedback) wasn’t very nice at all. She was a farm girl. Grew up on a farm. Raised animals and all that jazz, and wrote a book based on a kid growing up on a farm. One reviewer went on to say something to the affect that the author had no business writing about farming since it was evident she had no experience in farming. Seriously? So what changed? The novel was exactly the same. It was the people reviewing it that changed. Different people. Different ideas and opinions. The author took it with a grain of salt and actually laughed at the ridiculousness of it all. It’s all subjective, people, every bit of the writing process, and every writer needs to keep that in mind. Should that keep you from having your work reviewed and critiqued by others? Heck no. You have to put yourself out there. How else would you know if what you do works or not? Imagine a comedian who only practices his stand up routine in his bedroom in front of his mom. He may be hilarious, he may be a complete flop, but until he steps on stage and shares his works with others, he’ll never know for certain. What do you think? Do you agree with me, or am I in left field? I'd love to know.  NaNoWriMo is underway. I'm hanging in there--still behind, but plugging away. Yesterday I made real headway and the story is FINALLY coming along (I know where I'm going now--I think).
I thought it might be fun to post a teaser just for the heck of it AND I sure would love to see what everyone else it up to. So post a teaser, a paragraph or two, in the comment section below. Oh, and add your genre, too. Just so we can have a clear idea your audience. Check back often so you can read all the other teasers. Have fun and keep on writing. The more we support one another, the more success we ALL will enjoy. Okay, so here's mine: Genre: YA (Second book in the Zombie West Series--unedited of course) Moans and agitated cries intensified with the rising of the new sun. The walking dead grew more active as the day warmed their bones and thawed their warped brains. It had become so common place, like the crowing of a rooster at dawn, that Red hardly noticed the difference until the scratching and digging at the walls became more chaotic, more desperate. "Something’s wrong." She untangled herself from Trace’s arms, waking him in the process, and climbed from their shared bed. "What’s going on?" He anchored himself on one elbow and watched her slip on her boots and tug them into place. "Do you hear it? They’re louder today." |
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