(That could be me. Right there --->)

You might laugh and mock my desire to be a tough roller derby girl (you better not, though. I'll push you down and roll right over you with my skates), but think about it. I'm trained for it--mentally.

(Physically is another issue that we will not discuss at this time).

I can handle taunts. I can handle a punch or a clothesline arm to the throat--I'm a writer. I put myself out there every day and have a whole lot of rejections under my belt, thickening my skin. I'm becoming tougher and tougher every day, and all the better writer for it, too. My writing is stronger. Better.

I could totally kick some trash.

I write under a pen name, so of course I'd have to have a cool derby girl name like: "Hardly an Angel" or "AuTOPsy." I also found a derby name generator site and it said my derby name is, "Amelia the Cattleprod." Not sure about that, but okay. I'd be a blocker who blocks other derby chicks from passing by, and clearing a path for our team jammer to fly by and score points.

Wanna know how I know so much about this sport? First, I watched the movie Whip it (makes me an expert, I know). Second, I read about it in a SLC newspaper a while back--Yes, Utah has cools stuff like roller derby teams. And third, I'm planning to go see a real live roller derby competition this Saturday. Super cool. I'm pumped.

Now all I need is a pair of roller skates, so I can practice my moves. It should come back to me like riding a bike, right?

Okay, what about you? If you couldn't be a writer, but could use your writerly skills to be or do something else, what would you choose to do?

Here is your backpack. Here is your lunch.
Now off you go. I love ya a bunch.
I wave out the window and blow them a kiss.
Then I hurry on home to the laptop I miss.

The summer's been a blast, a whole lot of fun.
But with all the vacations, no writing got done.
It's time to get busy, butt in chair, fingers on keys.
Oh, my little muse, come back to me please!

I only have six hours before they come home.
I don't shower, or do my hair, I don't pick up a comb.
I turn on the laptop, wait for it to boot.
But I'll check twitter first because it's always a hoot.

Then emails are next, and facebook, too.
I've wasted two hours, but that's nothing new.
I've got to get busy, I need to write.
But hey, look at this link! It's outta sight!

Stop it! Stop it now! Just stop it, I say!
I must get back to writing, and stop wasting the day.
I don't have much time, soon the kids will be home.
And I've wasted an hour just writing this poem? (Yes, yes I did)

So here I go. I'm going to write real stuff.
It's been quite a while, it's gonna be tough.
But I'm determined. Ready or not.
Shoot! The school bell just rang and I lost my shot.
                                                By Angela Scott

To prologue or not to prologue.

That is the question that plagues my mind. Because, I’m thinking of doing it; I think I’m going to include a prologue in my current WIP.

*gasp*

I know. I am a professed prologue hater, never did much enjoy them, and most often skip them all together to get right into the meat of the story.

So why in the world am I doing this to myself? Why wouldn’t I simply take that bugger of a prologue and rename it “Chapter One,” like most writers do (like most writers are told to do)?

For me, here’s why: It doesn’t work as a first chapter. With my current query/book blurb, to use this prologue as a chapter one would be rather confusing and not to mention super odd. I’ve tried it. It’s just not right.

I’ve also tried dumping it from the book all together thinking maybe I could get away with not having it. I couldn’t. My alpha readers want it. They love it. They think it adds a sense of mystery to the story.

So what’s a writer to do?

I think I’m keeping it as a prologue. I think I am. I’m pretty sure I am. I don’t know.

I’ve been reading about prologues and have read the following posts: Why Prologues Often Don’t Work and also, To Prologue or Not to Prologue. Check them out. They offer great advice and reasons for and against the dreaded prologue.

Because let’s face it, most prologues don’t even need to be there. They are often times confusing, add nothing, and are simply a bandaid to cover up what is most likely a horribly written beginning. Most writers, especially newbies, don’t know where to begin their story. Thus the prologue crammed with backstory, strange prose, and a whole bunch of weirdness.

I don’t like prologues. I don’t. A great portion of them just don’t work. I get that.

Arg . . . (my frustrated pirate’s voice).

But gosh darn it (I’m from Utah and this is how we swear) I think I need this prologue. Not because I want it, but because I NEED it.

I also know I stand in great risk of writing an epic fail here, becoming another reason why you should never write a prologue. Few prologues actually work, and I realize the chips are stacked against me.

So, I think I’m going to do a brave thing here. I’m going to post my prologue it in a tab above (only posting it for a few days and then I'm removing it) and let you, my comrades, give me your opinion. It is still in the editing mode, it’s rough in nature so be patient and kind with me and its flaws.

But before you do, pop over to the Got Zombies tab and read my blurb. This way you can understand why this prologue won’t work as a chapter one--Who is this Trace guy you mention in the query/blurb and why isn’t he in this chapter? This author is weird.

Oh, and just so you know, this book is written in third person from both Trace’s and Red’s POV’s.

Anyway, your help is mucho appreciated.

What are your opinions on prologues? Like them? Hate them? Do you write them? Read them? Or are you a skipper over like me?

Dear Blog Gods,      

Help. It’s Monday afternoon (late afternoon) and I should have written a blog by now. It’s kind of expected. I own a blog after all.

But I’ve got nothing. My mind is nothing but mushy mush—nothing intelligent going on, well, nothing blog worthy anyway. I mean, who cares that I spent the morning running my 14 year old boy to the shoe store and walked out with a pair of DC’s in size twelve? To me, that is a big deal. And kind of funny—short kid, ginormous feet.

I also did the dishes. Just typing that caused me to bore myself.

I haven’t done any editing or writing lately. I’m stuck. Who wants to hear about THAT again? No one.

I actually went on twitter and asked for help. Should I write something funny or something serious? Everyone said write something funny. One guy said to write about pygmy goats.

So now, all I can think about are pygmy goats. I went on YouTube, saw some videos (see below) and now I want one. Thanks a lot guy on twitter. So besides looking on Craigslist for a pygmy goat, I still have nothing to blog about.

So Blog Gods, strike me with some inspiration, push a thought into my brain. What can I tell my peeps to encourage them to write and edit and all that other stuff that comes with being an author?

I will close my eyes and wait for the Blog Gods to send me an idea. *Five seconds of silence please*

Hee,hee,hee . . . pygmy goats! Good stuff. So funny and cute.

Dang!

Okay, it appears I’ve got nothing, guys. The Blog Gods are thinking about pygmy goats now, too.

I like writing. I like pygmy goats. Both are fun. Both are needed for entertainment purposes. Be like the pygmy goat—go out there and entertain the people with your words.

See Blog Gods, see what crap I spew when left on my own? Thanks a bunch.

I’ll try again later,

Angela Scott
(Enjoy the video)

How to know if your novel is original and not cliché. Take this quiz:

1)      Does your novel have a vampire as one of the main characters? Yes or No

2)      Does your heroine meet the hero, but by complete accident (he shows up out of nowhere) at the local library? The school library? The college library? Any library?  Yes or No

3)      Is your female MC oblivious to the fact that she is the key to saving the world? She has special powers (mind reading, mind blocking, unleashed ninja skills)? Yes or No

4)      Does your story begin with one of the following:  Yes or No
        a)      Girl/woman jogging?
        b)      Girl/woman fingering a necklace that hangs around her neck (a symbol, she has yet to                     figure out)?
        c)       It’s raining?
        d)      Girl/female looking out the window as the rain falls?

5)      Does your female/male MC meet for the first time the male/female MC in the office of the     high school? The secondary MC just so happens to be a new kid in town? Yes or No

6)      Does your novel start off with a chase scene or a character fleeing something or someone?   Yes or No  

7)      Does your main character just wake up from a dream? Yes or No

8)      Is your MC warned not to do something, but does it anyway and all hell breaks out? Y or N

9)      Does your MC have to find a mate or else? Y or N

10)   Does your female MC find herself in a sticky situation, and the male MC comes to the           rescue?

If you answered YES to any of the above, I don’t know how original an idea you have—more like a possible cliched plot or at the very least, a very cliched beginning. Be warned.

I just finished judging some entries for the Utah Romance Writers of America’s Heart of the West writing completion. And boy let me tell you, I was blown away at how many of the stories opened with the very same plot idea or theme. Now don’t get me wrong, we have genres for a reason, people come to expect certain things to happen when reading mystery or romance or paranormal, etc . . . I get that.

But when I start a novel in which the woman is out having a jog and then runs into (insert any of the following: vampire, alien, etc . . . ) and then I pick up another novel and it begins the same way, I get worried.

--Three of the entries I judged had a girl that wore a mystery necklace that she NEVER took off, ever.
--Two started out with a teenage girl in the library where she meets the super, uber, amazingly handsome hero.
--Two started out with female jogging and coming upon a) alien life form in the woods b) a fallen angel.
--Two had werewolves or, a slight difference, a werebear.
--Two had the male MC in need of finding a mate or else he would a) die/go insane (don’t all men think that anyway?) or b) lose the kingdom. 
--Two started out with a girl looking out the window as the rain fell outside, she was contemplating life.  
--Four had vampires or a vampire version.
--And then there were the two that used the exact same phrases “Gods! That was so annoying” (plural form of God to indicate more than one) and the term “Instinct.”

Perhaps the plot was different from everything else out there, maybe a new twist on an old idea, but the openings sure didn’t leave me to believe so. Very clichéd, in my humble opinion.

We have to make ourselves different. We have to stand out, rise above the rest. Make sure our ideas are different, or at least take an old idea and give it an incredible spin.

Any other clichéd plot lines or beginnings you’ve seen that I’ve missed. Do you agree with me or disagree? I’d love to hear from you. (I love comments and a great discussion).

(The videos below are just for fun. I'm not really dissing my romance writer pals. I love romance). 

I have a teenage boy.

He just turned fourteen two weeks ago and I’m actually quite surprised he made it to his fourteenth birthday, because honestly, I wasn’t sure he would. He drives me nuts. I’ve been told it only gets worse too. One friend told me to just wait until he turns fifteen. That’s when I really won’t like him. She said not to worry, though, once he turns twenty-five I’ll like him better.

Wonderful. Just wonderful.

Here’s the thing with this kid—he’s a bugger at home, pushing his boundaries, super messy, and likes to argue just for the sake or arguing:

Him: Why did you put milk on my cereal?

Me: Because you like milk on your cereal?

Him: What makes you think that?

Me: Because you had milk on your cereal for breakfast yesterday.

Him: That was yesterday. You just don’t know me at all.

But outside our house, everyone LOVES him! They think he is the greatest kid ever. Now, don’t get me wrong, as far as teenagers go, he’s pretty good one, but he can be SOOO annoying too.

At home, he’s rude.

Outside our home (school, church, scouts, friends), he’s a real gem of a guy. He even helps pick up after himself. He’s been known to carry dishes to the sink. What the heck?

At home, he picks on his younger brother and sister ALL THE TIME.

Outside our home, little kids adore him. They think he’s amazing and cool. They high-five him (my kids scream at him to stop touching them).

At home, he is demanding.

Outside our home, he has manners. He has been known to say please and thank you. He holds open doors for people.

At home, he sulks and mopes around as though nothing in this world will ever make him happy.

Outside our home, he is a ball of joy.

I am the mother of a teenage son, so this is my lot in lot in life for the next six or so years (so I’ve been told). I look at him and think, “Who in their right mind is ever going to want to marry my son? He’s going to live with us forever, isn’t he?”

But I must say, that at least when he steps outside our door, he knows how to behave and be a good kid. That has to mean something.

When I first started writing my book, I was excited. It was cute. It was new and fun. I loved watching it grow and develop—like a toddler. I put my heart and soul into it and shaped it into being.

Now, it’s acting just like a teenager.

I’m in the editing/revising phase and this book is being a pain in my backside. Filling in plot holes and tweaking has become excruciatingly painful, especially the ending. The ending is mocking me.

I only have twenty more pages to edit and rewrite (I’ve come a long way) and yet, for the past several days, the ending simply won’t come together. It’s as if my book has become a lanky teenage boy who has thrown himself over the couch, his big size eleven feet flopped over the armrest, sleeping the afternoon away.

I nudge him. Nothing. I nudge him again. I get a moan before he rolls over, his back to me.

Me: Come on. We need to write.

My Novel: Not now. Later.

Me: No, I want to write now. It’s a good time. You’re not doing anything.

My Novel: I am doing something. I’m sleeping.

Me: You’re always sleeping.

My Novel: Yeah, well, I like sleeping.

Me: Are you going to help me or what?

My Novel: Tomorrow. I’ll help you tomorrow, okay? I promise.

Me: You promised me that same thing yesterday.

My Novel: This time I mean it. (My novel flashes me a peace sign).

It needs to get done, because there is no such thing as a novel without an ending. AND there is no way I’m allowing the crappy ending that is there to just sit and taunt me. The ending will be fixed. It has too. I can make it better.

Then, and only then, when I send it out into the world, I will hope it behaves itself, reading the way I always envisioned it would. No one will ever know the love, patience, and long suffering that went into the making of my book. They will never know how much I agonized over it or how much I lost sleep over it. No one will ever know—which is a good thing.

I only want them to see the good stuff.

Leave a comment and let me know how your novel is coming along? What roadblocks you’ve faced, what amazing hurdles you’ve jumped over. I’d love to know. Leave a comment and I’ll pop over and check out your site too.