 I’m a sucker for a good deal. I’m always keeping my eyes peeled, searching for a bargain. My best deal ever, I’d have to say, was when I went to a local consignment shop and found a pair of super cool shorts for my teenage son, brand new with tags on sale for $3.00. Wow. But the really awesome part, I got the shorts home, handed them to my son to try on, and when he put his hand in the pocket he pulled out a $5.00 bill. Sweet! Part of this “Super Deal” process is hitting the local yard sales in my area. I love me some yard sales. Oh, boy, the fun stuff I have picked up for a dollar or two. Bargains, bargains, bargains. Well, this past Saturday, we woke up the clan and headed out to hit some sales. For the most part, many yards sales are crap. I REALLY hate it when they have these huge colorful signs that say, “Neighborhood Yard Sale” or “Multi-Family Yard Sale”, and then you show up and it’s a couple of people with one table and all their old clothes and dusty, dirty shoes laying on top. Totally false advertising. But, it’s part of the process—you have to weed through a lot of bad to get to the good. (Same thing goes for writing and reading). Now, let me tell you about the good. Wowzer, wow wow! We ended up at this estate sale in the town next to ours, and before I’d even seen what they had out for sale I was intrigued. I mean, this old house looked something along the lines of the one in the movie Zanthura—old, with lots of character and appeal. To get to it, you had to meander down this long winding driveway with orange poppies blooming on either side. There were trees, huge and draping. Perfect for an old wooden swing. Off to the left, in a weedy grove, sat a weathered picnic table and chair set. Take this house and then place it in the scene of like Bridge to Terabithia or The Spiderwick Chronicles and WAH-LA, you have an idea of what I was looking at. This house captivated me, and my mind whirled with creative possibilities. Also, I wanted to buy that house. I wanted it. I mean, how could it not be full of magical possibilities? It LOOKED magical. It had to have had an attic and a spooky cellar and doors that led to secret rooms and crap like that. Someday I will write a book with that house in it. I totally have a setting. Now I just need a story to go with it. Anyway, this yard sale was incredible too! Oh, my heck, all the cool old stuff they were selling. Treasures. Pure treasures. And they were practically giving this stuff away for nothing—antique desks and tables and the most amazing old pieces of furniture. But all that aside, I began to lose myself in the midst of these hidden pearls tucked away in cardboard boxes, things that probably had no monetary value whatsoever, but were interesting nonetheless. An older woman, who had owned the property, had recently died and her children were sorting her belongings, cleaning out the home that had housed decades and decades of memories. One box, contained 1950’s smelling soaps and perfumes, still in their boxes, unused. Another, had shoe boxes, I’m guessing from the 1960’s or so, of the same high heal shoe, but in various shades and colors. They looked nearly perfect too. One box held envelopes, dozens and dozens of envelopes all from Utah Power and Light Company (it hasn’t been called that for about forty years now) in which the company sent recipes to this older woman. Recipes? The electric company sent recipes? Weird, yet slightly cool. That’s interesting stuff right there. There were books and old records and vintage purses and clothes—a complete blast from the past. I did purchase a couple of things I found interesting or seemed to tell a story (see pictures below) and my husband went crazy buying all sorts of crap he plans to turn around and sell on eBay and make a small fortune. He bought an old pair of black salt and pepper shakers for a buck that were made in the 1930’s, very rare, and can probably sell for thirty dollars. We spent approximately $40 and will probably make well over $200. (Some items I’m keeping for me just because). So now I have a setting for a story. All I need is some characters and a plot. Where do your ideas come from? Do you start with characters first or settings? I think I normally start with a character and then go from there. This is weird for me to start with a setting. That story will have to wait, though. I have others on my plate that need attending to. Leave a comment. I’d love to hear where you get your inspiration. Next to bargains, I love comments (and people who leave them).  It's an old shoe shine kit. It's missing a few things, but still, it's really cool. I picked this up for $2.00. Can you just imagine the story behind this?  This old suitcase even had part of a traveling tag on it from the railway. Look at the old key dangling from the case, the buckles, the hardware. I wonder who used it and where they went.  Look at this amazing book! "An Old Fashioned Girl" and do you see who it is written by...way down near the bottom...Louisa May Alcott, the lady who wrote "Little Women." It doesn't have a copyright page, but it does have an inscription in the front saying, "Presented to Edith from her teacher xmas 1900."  Cute little children's suitcases. I know they're not as old as some of the other items, but they still had a unique look to them that I couldn't resist. They are each made out of stitched together cardboard and they're in perfect condition.  Here they are, just few of the old cook books I picked up for a quarter (I have a whole stack--why, I don't know. I hate cooking). But notice the blue one on the left with the band on the cover? That's the holiday cookbook from Utah Power & Light Co. I should have grabbed more. I could kick myself for not grabbing that old lady's mail with all those recipes in them. Oh, and now I have a cookbook that tells me how 300 ways to cook an egg. I thought there was only one way--scrambled.
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 Want to know if you're a "REAL" writer? Then take the following quiz. Keep track of your scores for verification at the end of the test. Because having a great idea coupled with the desire to write is simply not enough. Being a "REAL" writer is so much more. You're a "REAL" writer if . . . 1) You write at an antique desk, preferably owned by some literary giant of the past like Poe, or Plath, or Thoreau. +1 point for antique desk +10 points if owned by someone famous. 2) You write with a real quill pen and ink pot. +100 points (super cool). 3) You've been published by ALL six of the major publishing houses. +1 point. (You'd think that would be worth more, but if you've been published by all of the big six, then I hate you. This is my quiz and I can score it how I please). 4) You've written a literary piece of work. Not genre, memoir, or nonfiction. +2 points. 5) You never revise your first draft because it is pure genius as is. +5 points. 6) You write poetry and lots of it. Poetry that rhymes doesn't count. +3 points. 7) You've been to at least 396 writer conventions in various states and foreign countries. +1 point. 8) You have a study (do not confuse this with a "den" or "office"--doesn't count). +1 point 9) You have at least three 7 foot bookshelves filled with all kinds of books + 1 point for each bookshelf. 10) You wouldn't be caught dead owning Stephen Kings On Writing, or Bird by Bird by Anne Lamont or any other kind of book for writers. "REAL" writers do not need them. +5 points 11) You don't subscribe to Writer's Digest or The Writer. Again "REAL" writers do not need them. +1 point 12) You are depressed and suicidal or you're heavily into drugs and alcohol. + 1 point (I can't give more than one point for that. That's so sad). 13) Your work has been featured on several radio shows and in all the magazines even Golf Digest and Road Rally. +15 points 14) You were on Oprah (before she quit--those of us who weren't will NEVER be REAL writers. That SOO sucks for us). Oh, and your memoir better be truthful or you need to subtract a thousand points. +600 points 15) You make a ton of money writing. Every piece you've written sells for big money. You were able to quit your day job. +200 points 16) You think all of the above is a bunch of poo, and you love to write, regardless if you ever get published. You HAVE to write because it's who you are. It's a part of you, just like breathing and sleeping. You can't imagine not writing. You're like a junkie, but with words. Your laptop is your best friend. And you write because you LOVE it--you absolutely love it! There's nothing else you'd rather do. Then give yourself +1,000,000 points.  Now tally your scores:
Anything less than 1,000,000 points, you need to rethink your whole take on this writing thing. That's all I'm gonna say. Though I want to say more. But I won't. You get the picture. Anything above 1,000,000 points--you ARE a REAL writer. Own it, baby. Just own it. People will tell you you're not a real writer because you didn't get that 3 book deal or you didn't become a New York Times Best Seller or you self-published so it doesn't count or you skipped using an agent or you received 20 rejections from agents or whatever funky, crazy reason people come up with today to dismiss writers and make writers feel like crap for doing what they love. Out of curiosity, does anyone know whether artists (painters or photographers) or musicians ever feel this same way? Are they told they're not real? I guess in my mind, if someone told me they were a musician, I would simply be impressed. I wouldn't ask what venue they played in or even what instrument they played, "Oh, the drums? That's too bad. Only REAL musicians play guitar." Do musicians do that to other musicians? Do artists? Just curious. As writers, we tend to do that. Maybe we don't admit it, but we do. Certain genres are looked down upon. Self-published authors are treated unfair. If someone published one book, we wonder if it was a fluke and if they're capable of publishing another. Why are we such snobs? Why do we do this? Is it jealously? So I say, let's knock it off. If you write and you love doing it, then SWEET! Super awesome! I'm impressed. You are a REAL writer in my book. There's no membership required. Nothing to fill out. Even though some people will make you feel as though there is a special "club" of which you'll never fit in. But has anyone seen this "so-called-club"? I didn't think so. I shake my head and tsk tsk at those crazy coots who get their kicks by making writers feel sooo small by creating new "rules" to keep themselves looking good, and to keep us feeling as though we'll never be good enough. I write. It's what I do. I feel real.Ouch. I just pinched myself to make sure. So if I'm real and I write, then that should make me a REAL WRITER, right? You're darn tooting that's right! Are you real? Do you write? Then there you go. You're a real writer, just like me. Seriously, if anyone knows about the whole musician, singer, artist thing, I'd love to know--either way. I'm super curious.  I hate heights. Actually, I REALLY hate heights. Even standing on a kitchen chair to reach a top shelf scares me. I could fall. I could die. I could fall and die.
I hate Ferris Wheels. I hate climbing ladders. I will NEVER get on my roof. And airplanes in the sky seems completely unnatural--so very wrong (I have flown and I do okay, but I constantly worry I will fall and die). This past weekend, I had the opportunity to go with some youth (as an adviser and chaperone) to do some rock climbing and repelling. I said that yes I would go and I would watch these daring teenagers. I'd also take pictures. That would be my job. That would be my plan. That would keep me safe and alive. I had NO intentions of climbing steep rocky mountain terrain or throwing myself off the edge of anything. No way. No how. Not gonna happen. But they kept bugging me: "Come on, Angela! You can do it! It's safe!" or "You'll love it! It's so much fun!" Oh, the peer pressure from these brave kids and not to mention the repelling guys. They we were like, "Just put on a harness. Just wear one and we'll hook your safety tether to the rope and that way you can watch the kids go down without fear of falling off the edge. It's for safety measures." Okay, I can do that. for safety. I SOOO don't want to fall off the edge of a cliff. Safety is good. Safety is real good. I didn't know that was a trick--one stepper to making me climb down the edge of a mountain. So I put on the harness (one strap around my waist and two more for each leg) and then they hooked a safety tether to the rope. I was safe and I was happy. I cheered each kid on. Even the big burly, tough acting kid who started to have doubts. I think he even cried a little--quite endearing. I only mocked him a little. Then they said it was my turn. "My turn? Oh, heck no." They kept badgering me, encouraging me to give it a try, and finally I gave in (total brain malfunction, that's the only thing that makes sense). Their biggest argument, "If you can overcome doing this, this thing that seems so scary and hard, then the next difficult thing in your life won't seem so tough. You'll be stronger and more confident." Okay. I could use more strength and confidence. It was a pretty good argument and so, I was led to the edge, my face staring at the cliff's vertical surface in front of me, trying not to look down. Then I looked down. OH MY GOODNESS! And people think this is fun? I just didn't get it. This was terrifying. This was INSANITY. I was allowing insane people to tell me that a tiny little rope would hope my weight as I walked down the mountain horizontal (because that's what they tell you to do--lean back, away from the wall, away from safety). That's completely nuts. Why would I want to toss myself over the edge of a perfectly good mountain? I started to shake. My nerves were setting in. But I didn't want to look like a wimp in front of all those brave kids, so I decided to give it a try. They kept telling me not to think about it. But guess what? All I could do was think about how I was going to fall and die. I was told to put my feet on the very, very edge. Hold the rope at my side as a brake (to stop my decent at any time) and then step over. It took several tries AND a repelling expert to use the rope next to me and repel down beside me, before I could take that first step over the edge. (Just so you know, the first step is the hardest--it's absolutely terrifying). With that kind man's encouragement, and the teenagers up above me, hanging over the edge and telling me how awesome I was, I slowly made my way down the mountain. When I reached the bottom, my legs were like jelly--not because it was physically tough, but because it was mentally tough. It was so scary. I did it! I repelled a mountain. I did it! I did it! Wow. The kids up above yelled down to me, "Look, now you can cross this off your bucket list!" (They totally think I'm super old). I yelled back, "Thanks! But repelling NEVER was on my bucket list!" That's the truth. Being dipped in chocolate at the Hershey Spa back in Pennsylvania--THAT is on my bucket list. NOT defying death. As I stood below, after my decent, watching the kids repel I keep thinking, "Wow, I did that really tough, scary thing. Me. Yes, me. I did it. I DID IT!" And you know, as I look back and remember that feeling of accomplishing something so utterly terrifying, I do have a sense I can handle other scary tough things that come my way. I can do it. You know what else? I'm actually thinking of going repelling again. I will have an opportunity in August, and I just might go. It doesn't seem so bad now. Your turn. What is the scariest thing you've ever done? How did you handle it? I'd love to hear your experience.  Ring.
Dispatch: W-1-1, what's your emergency? Writer: I...I don't know where I am. I think I've lost my way. I've lost...my writing mojo. Dispatch: Don't worry. We will have you back on the writing path soon. First, I need you to ask you a few questions. Writer: Okay. Dispatch: What were you writing right before you became lost? Writer: Well, I was right in the middle of a climatic scene where the boy reunites with his grandfather. It was going extremely well. The words were flowing and I was meeting my daily writing goals. Then all of a sudden nothing. The words have stopped all together. Dispatch: Is this YA or Adult? Writer: YA Dispatch: Contemporary or paranormal? Writer: Contemporary. Dispatch: Can you describe to me your surroundings? Writer: Well, let's see. There's my desk and my laptop. A diet pepsi. A few writing books and then there's this HUGE wall that came out of nowhere. Dispatch: Can you please describe the wall? Writer: It's a wall. Dispatch: This is definitely serious. Can you please be more specific? Give it a try. How tall? How wide? Writer: Umm...it's so high I can't see over it and it's really wide that I can't see around it either. Oh, and it's made out of mocking bricks. Dispatch: Are you certain? Writer: Yes, I'm staring at it right now. Each brick has writing on it that says, "You suck" or "Get a real job" or "You're not a real writer." Dispatch: Continue to stay on the phone with me, our emergency feedback team is on their way. Writer: I think I hear their sirens in the distance. Dispatch: Good. Good. I want you just to relax, take a few deep breathes. Now I want you to try sitting at your desk. Writer: I can't. Dispatch: Yes you can. Just sit down. Writer: I don't know... Dispatch: Put your butt in the chair. Writer: Okay. Okay. Dispatch: Is your laptop on? Writer Yes. Dispatch: Have you loaded Microsoft Word? Writer: Yes. Dispatch: Very good. Very good. Now I want you to type your name. Writer: My name? Dispatch: Yes. Something simple. You can do it. Writer: Okay. It's done. Dispatch: Do you hear the emergency feedback team yet? Are they there? Writer: I can hear them. They're on the other side of the wall. Wait...they're yelling something at me. They're yelling...YOU CAN DO IT! Dispatch: Very good. Writer: They're removing the bricks one at a time. I see some light. Dispatch: Very good. Writer: They're saying, SET SMALL GOALS and IT'S OKAY TO WRITE CRAP. Dispatch: First drafts usually are. It's common. All writers experience it. You're not alone. Writer: I'm not alone. I'm not alone. Dispatch: Do you see the emergency feedback team? Have they removed the bricks? Writer: Yes, yes. They're handing me a pencil and a notebook. They also handed me a bunch of sticky notes and Stephen King's book On Writing. Dispatch: Perfect. You're in good hands now. I'm going to let you go now. Stay with the emergency feedback team, otherwise known as Writing Critique Partners, or WCP. They will continue to work with you, encourage you, and they help you tear down the bricks should more appear. Writer: Thank you. Thank you so much! Dispatch: No need to thank me. That's why we're here. Now, go write a little something. I know you have it in you. You're going to be just fine. Writer: What if I have plot troubles or I'm unsure about my character's motivation? Dispatch: Just call W-1-1 and the WCP will help you through it. That's our job. I know for myself, my emergency feedback team (my critique group) has come to my rescue more times than I could count. They're amazing ladies and I appreciate their advice and willingness to to help me fight past writers block or storyline issues. Everyone should have a set of critique partners to bounce ideas on and get help to push past the tough times. If you have an amazing person in your life (you're WCP or Emergency Feedback Team), give them a shoutout here in the comment section. Tell me a little about that fantastic person who pushes you to keep going, who's advice and wisdom you crave the most. As for the drawing winner (see previous blog post), Becka at Sticky Note Stories had her name drawn. I will contact her and send her a little something for commenting and for backing up her files. (Backing up files, however you do it, is important, peeps. Back up yours today). Also, if you just feel that you haven't had enough of me yet, pop over to my other blog at Ready, Aim, Hook Me. I wrote a blog post on how writing, just like comedy shows, is subjective. Check it out. Good stuff.  It was a quiet afternoon in the Scott household. The husband was busy doing his thing. The kids were busy doing theirs. And I had plans to do some writing (I know, I know. We're not a very unified family, are we--off on our own).
But as I settled into the writing mode, laptop burning the flesh of my lap, and proceeded to check email and twitter (that's my warming up to write ritual), my computer flickered, froze, and then went blank. Dark screen. What the heck? What happened? This couldn't be right? I began to panic. My laptop and I are like this *crosses fingers* I shut down the computer and quickly rebooted (adverbs suck, so use them sparingly). All kinds of mayhem ensued. First, a list of computer code ran down the screen--stuff I'd never seen, yet knew couldn't be good. Second, it asked me if I should do a recovery scan. Yes, yes, of course! Do a recovery scan. Fix it! For the love of all things good in the world, FIX IT! A half hour into the recovery scan, I received a disheartening message, "recovery not possible." Not possible? What did that mean? What did that mean? Oh, no, no, NOOOO!! Recover, recover, recover. So I did what any sane person would do, I powered off the laptop once more and tried again. And again, "recovery not possible." Don't say that! It's possible. It is. It HAS to be. I decided to try something different. I decided to say no to the recovery scan. Saying yes sure wasn't working. So I said no, just bring up the laptop in safe mode. I clicked my mouse. I waited. Nothing. Black screen. I repeated the process. Blank screen.Saying yes didn't help. Saying no didn't help. That's not fair. I took out the battery. Rebooted. Again, blank screen. At this point all sorts of profanities raced through my brain. (I have children in the house and we have a swear jar and I have no change). I did my best to hold it together. Then I yelled for my husband. He's a computer guy. I needed good news, something to give me hope. Because, I had just spent the past several days working and reshaping my WIP, editing and revising. AND, I didn't back it up on my memory stick. I only saved it to the hard drive. I reworked whole passages, changing the POV from one MC to a another MC--that was painfuly hard work. My husband ran it through some diagnostic tests (that's what computer guys do). It came up with another scary message, "memory integrity failed." Crap, oh, crap, oh crap! I love my laptop. Did I mention how we're like best friends? It's possible my laptop only needs some new memory. So my husband tells me. That's the hope. Fingers crossed. But to order new memory will take time (do you recall how I'm not a very patient person?). At the moment, I'm using my husbands laptop. I hate it. The keys are all weird. It feels unnatural. Wrong. But, I can blog But you know what I can't do? Write or edit my zombie western romance novel. BECAUSE I SCREWED UP! Yes, folks, I screwed up. I didn't use a stick. Not lately anyway. What I do have backed up is old, weeks old. I never saved the new edits to the memory stick. *I'm smacking my head against a wall right now* I'm so hoping the increased memory will do the trick, or otherwise I will have to rely on my own memory to recall ALL the changes I made to my manuscript. (I think my heart just skipped a beat--and not in a good way). Oh, mighty computer gods in the sky, please oh, please, oh, please, let my laptop live! Give it life, if only for a moment so I can use a stick to back up my work. I promise, if you grant me this wish, I will ALWAYS backup my work. I will remember this awful feeling. I will repent of my nonbacking up ways. I will be better. I will be a promoter of using the stick. I will blog about it. I will encourage others to stop reading this blog post, this very instant, and pull out their stick and back up their important files (that sounded kinda nasty). So, if you have a memory stick, use it. Use it now. Don't risk it. It only takes a seond. Hardly any time at all. I sure wish I had backed up my files. I really, really, do. I may not even know if I will be able to retrieve my work until the end of the week (ordering memory takes time). And until it comes, or until we figure out the problem, I can't write or edit. I did this to myself. It could have been avoided. Don't make my same mistake. Do you own a stick? How often do you back up your files? How often should we? Leave a comment (because I love them) and tell me you backed up your files. If you do back up and leave a comment--someone's gonna recieve a prize (a drawing).  A long, long time ago, when I started this blog, I didn't have a Google Friend Connect (join site) button. It wasn't included in the Weebly template program so I just assumed it was a feature I would never have (so sad).
But alas, a good friend showed me how I could go to GFC and then copy and paste the code onto my sidebar. Boy was I happy :) My only problem: I needed faces. A blank join site button is pretty lame. But you want to know what's lamer than that? Having the only face in your join site box be your own (LOSER). Don't do that. It's a pain in the butt to get your face off there once you put it on. I decided to write a poem to encourage people to join my site. It was a pretty nifty poem too. Faces started to trickle in and I was thrilled (insert another happy face here). Now I could see people and I didn't feel so alone in the big ol' blogosphere.My poem worked! Yipee!! (I'm a poet, but didn't know it). After a while though, the poem no longer applied. I had plenty of followers and the Join Site button had been in place for months. I needed to either remove it or revise it. Of course, I chose revise. Poems are awesome. So over on my sidebar --> I wrote another poem and it's pretty cool if I do say so myself (and I'm saying it). Good stuff. Now, I've good this totally cool poem, but look right below it . . . What do you see? NOTHING. Na-da. Only a blank box where my Google Friend Connect Button used to be. That sucks. Apparently, Google is having some issues. They ran an update and afterwards, quite a few people are experiencing the same problems I'm having (I actually have this problem not only here but over on my Ready, Aim, Hook Me site as well). I've searched the web over trying to find a solution, a quick fix, but there isn't one. All Google has to say is, "We're aware of the problem and are trying to find a solution. Thanks for your patience." Patience? I have no patience. What the heck, Google? WHAT THE HECK? I have a super cool poem and a blank box. Now I just look dumb. Not cool. Not cool at all. It's been gone for two days now and I have no idea when it will be back. So I guess I just need to try this patience thing (BLUCK--I'm an instant gratification kinda gal). What else can I do? Anyone else out there having GFC issues? When you see mine back up, will you let me know? Thanks.  Since I post on Wednesdays over at Ready, Aim, Hook Me (a group blog I'm proud to be a part of), I decided to have a bit of fun over here on my own personal blog.
My blog post over there today wasn't fun at all. Pretty serious business (but there is a Dairy Queen commercial in the post--that's a bit o' fun). We all know that receiving rejections suck. But did you know that handing out rejections to hopeful writers who are looking for a review sucks even MORE? Well, it does. It sucks rocks. It's hard to be a crusher of dreams. If you want to read more (which I hope you do) please pop over there and check it out. Being a reviewer isn't easy. Now, on to the fun stuff. If you all recall, I have this super fun, nifty little app on my iPhone called "WHAT IF?" It will randomly select a question, most of the time the it's ridiculous and goofy, but it's fun to hear (in this case, read) other people's answers. Is this a time waster? TOTALLY. But we all could use a minute of humor and fun to break up the tedium of writing or editing thousands of words. Think of this as a coffee break, if you will. I PROMISE that those who read this post and ACTUALLY leave an answer in the comment section, will find great joy and success in meeting their writing goals this day. Guaranteed. Those of you who read this post, but DO NOT leave a comment, will be jinxed. (Insert the theme song to The Twilight Zone here--do not confuse this with the vampire movie). Do you want to chance it? Here is the question ( totally random, using the phone to generate it): "What if you had the opportunity to create exact clones of of yourself, how many would you create?" My answer: Hmmm...If they were EXACTLY like me, then the world could be in a lot of trouble. Especially if they had all my bad traits as well--dislike for cooking, yard work, and laundry. A whole lot of lazy Me's wouldn't be fun. BUT, if each of them loved to write, my clone buddies and I could kick out a ton of novels. And, if we agreed to split up the household duties, each take one chore a piece, then wow all the blogging, tweeting, and writing we could do. Okay, assuming the later, I'll take four more of me. (Four is my favorite number). It could be a ton of fun. Except, if they have my knack for spending, we'll be living in the poor house. I'll have to keep my eye on them--no credit cards for clones. How about you? How many clones could you use? Or are you willing to lose your writing mojo by not answering? The best writing advice EVER...I mean it. It's pure genius. (Please no snorts or chuckles).6/5/2011  Photo by smoo 1) Narrative is so much better than dialogue.
2) Adverbs are absolutely essential. 3) Using the tag “said” to carry dialogue is boring. Spruce it up a little by using words like grumbled, declared, cried or gasped. 4) If you must use the word “said” then by all means pair it up with an adverb—“Harold said, sadly.” Now the reader knows for certain that Harold is unhappy. 5) Readers are dumb. They are unable to infer a single thing. Spell it out clearly. If you're still uncertain that your reader gets the gist of what is taking place, then by all means, write it again. You may have to write it several times to ensure that the concept has been thoroughly explored and explained—“Harold said, sadly. The tear sliding down his cheek proved his unhappiness. He cried a little more. He had never been so unhappy in all his life.” 6) Exclamations should be used often! They are the visual signs of excitement and thrill! The proper rule of thumb is at least one exclamation point per page but no more than ten. Double exclamations or exclamations paired with a question mark are AWESOME!! 7) When using dialogue, infuse it with a thick coat of regional dialect. 8) Obviously, words are a writer’s paintbrush. A writer can never use too many. If you write anything less than 150K novels, then return to your novel and see what you’ve missed. Because you have definitely missed something. 9) Building on point #8, NEVER delete words or scenes from your manuscript. Every word is necessary and essential to the story development. 10) Characters must remain consistent throughout the novel. If a character begins the story rich, happy, and full of vigor, then they must end the story the exact same way. Otherwise, you risk confusing your reader by writing too many emotions. A consistent character is ten times better than a character who is flighty and unpredictable. 11) Phrases such as “all hell broke loose”, “needle in a haystack”, “so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk” are not only cute but are widely known terms that people worldwide can relate to. 12) When your character enters a new setting, take two to three pages to describe in detail his or her surroundings. If it is a room in a house, include the description of not only the drapes and rug thickness, but a full description of the sconces on the wall and the pattern of the wallpaper. This is important to the story. 13) A great novel starts with backstory. 14) Never show your work to anyone but your parents, boyfriend, girlfriend or adoring grandmother. 15) Imagination is dangerous and full of lies and deception. Write only what you know. Back it up with facts and references (add footnotes to your fiction as proof of your knowledge). What other funny or bad advice would you add to the list? I know I've missed a bunch. Brooke over at Paper Mountain tagged me with these set of questions, and since I'm always up for a good game or two I thought why not play (I can always edit my manuscript later--I'm such a procrastinator). Besides, I like Brooke. She's pretty cool. So here we go: Do you think you're hot? Depends on the time of day. In the morning when I’m driving kids to school…ha,ha,ha, NO. Not hot. More like scary ugly. But by mid-afternoon, I can pull it together to look at least lukewarm. Upload a picture or wallpaper that you're using at the moment. Yeah, I know weird. But if you know me, it's not all THAT weird. This is the wallpaper on my phone. Creepy cool.  When was the last time you ate chicken meat? Yesterday. I ate a McD’s spicy chicken sandwich (wait…that might not be chicken at all). Totally not healthy, but I was in the mood for spicy hot and it was only a buck. Sue me for being hungry. The song(s) you listened to recently. Hmmm…I listen to the radio in my car a lot. I think the last thing I heard last night was Adele, Rolling in the Deep. I love that song. What were you thinking as you were doing this? How I’m hungry and could use a spicy chicken sandwich. Do you have nicknames? What are they? Mom, mommy, mama, mother, ma, ma, ma, ma, mommy, mommy, momma, MOM!! (kids nicknames for me. Oh, and check out the Family Guy clip) Honey. Honey! Honey? (husband’s nicknames for me). Angie or Ang (a few friends call me those) Tag 8 blogger friends...
1) D.S. Tracy 2) E.C.Writes 3) Jason McKinney 4) Juliana Brandt 5) Nancy Luazon 6) Violeta 7) Joy at the Character Depot 8) Andrea Hunter Who's listed as No. 1? D.S. We’ve been critique partners for about a year and a half now. She’s my ideal reader—tells me like it is and refuses to let me get away with writing crap. She’ll call me on it every time. Don’t know what I’d do without her. Say something about No. 5 What’s not to like about a lady who writes Chick Dick Mysteries? That’s cool stuff right there. How did you get to know No. 3? I’m thinking it was through twitter. He’s a zombie writer. I’m a zombie writer. Zombie writers are cool. We connect. Jason has written a book called The Memoirs of the Undead (I hope I got that right). I have the Kindle version and I find it fascinating. It’s a great balance of humor and horror. So funny. Not like any zombie book I’ve read before. How about No. 4. Ah, sweet Juliana. Her comments always make me smile and her blog is awesome. She even gave me an award. That’s pretty cool. Leave a message for No. 6. You rock! You really, really do! Leave a lovey dovey message for No. 2. Oh my Darlin’ Elisa, You crack me up, my dear, with all your quirky stories. I have never met a person with more embarrassing stories than you. You’re a lovable oddity. Anyone need a good chuckle? Check out her blog. You’re bound to giggle and maybe even pee a little. But be warned, nothing’s off limits with her—even the really embarrassing stuff. Love ya, Angela Do No. 7 and No. 8 have any similarities? Okay, this one was tough, but I think I got it figured out. Besides both being female and both having pretty cool blogs, they both live somewhere amazing awesome. Andrea on the Island of Kauai—beautiful and fantastic. When we went for a vacation she gave me tips and pointers for great places to visit and eat. And Joy lives in Jamaica. I’ve never been there, but Jamaica? That has to be awesome. I’m sure she’d give me tips and pointers too if ever I make my way to that fine part of the world. Tag you're it, guys. You're turn to play. (Even if you're not on my list, I'd love to read your answers. Let's get a good game of tag going). |
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