SoCS - "Chapters" #SOCS #writingprompts

*A couple of f-bombs ahead, but to be fair, they are necessary and beautifully placed*

---

I fucking love this chapter of my life! It has only been within the last five years that I have figured out who I am, and I am almost fifty-four years old. Fifty-four! The majority I lived for someone else whether it was for my parents, my religion, or for my ex-husband, and people-pleasing was part of that game. Sometimes I played pretend, doing what I believed was expected of me or worse yet, shrinking myself to fit inside someone else's box. 

I lost myself. Big time. But a divorce after marriage for twenty-six years tossed my world upside down, and FORCED me to land on my feet, learn things about myself I hadn't truly dared to look at, and dare I say, become stronger and more badass than I have EVER felt in whole goddamn life. 

Also, realizing I was gay and most likely a pantheist instead of a Book of Mormon reading, temple-going, married to a selfish black and white thinking "priesthood-holding" patriarchal man, sure made a HUGE difference, too. Go figure. 

A couple of months ago, my grown daughter asked me if I could pick any time in my life to live, which time would I pick? I had answered now -- I'd pick now. My glow-up has been so amazing that why in the world would I want to go back? I have found strength. I have found confidence. I have found my style. And most importantly, I have found the love of my life...love like I never knew existed before or thought I'd ever EVER experience. I'm truly happy. Authentically me. 

​Yes, this chapter is fucking amazing! 

​Stream of Consciousness Saturday is “chapter” and brought to you
​by Linda G. Hill

---