I wish editing and writing elves existed (Once upon a time...)

Once upon a time there lived a little writer who we shall call Little Writer. She was cute and total adorable (she's awesome) and loved to type at her laptop--clicky, clickty, clack. "I'm a writer! I'm a writer! La,la,la,la,la." Happy times ruled all the land, and those that dwelled within her shared kingdom were full of joy and expressed themselves through interpretive dance (see video below).

But then one day, a dark cloud rolled in over the kingdom and writers block...mixed with a bit of procrastination (and a love for facebook and twitter, but who's counting?) ...settled in all the land. Instead of gleefully writing, the Little Writer found herself pinning this and pinning that on Pinterest (so cool) and watching episode after episode of MY NAME IS EARL (it's freakin' hilarious).

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Writing on the laptop started to disappear and after awhile the kingdom became a sad and unhappy place (when mama ain't happy, no one is happy).

So the Little Writer had a marvelous idea, "Why not just have the writing elves write and edit my next novel for me? My deadline is approaching and I still have 15 more seasons of MY NAME IS EARL to watch. What an awesome idea!" The Little Writer placed her laptop on her desk, dusted off the keyboards, and left the power on. Writing elves are attracted to blinking little lights. It's true. 

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Oh yeah...that's my kinda elf! No wonder the Little Writer couldn't sleep.

Oh, the anticipation was too much! The Little Writer could hardly sleep. Elves loved to create things (shoes, toys for children, Keebler cookies...).

She couldn't wait to wake in the morning, find a polished and well edited manuscript all ready to hand over to her anxious editor. Perfect! Deadlines would be met and the kingdom would once again be bubbly and happy again.

So the Little Writer closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep dreaming of editing and writing elves with their wee little fingers tapping keys one after another and creating a marvelous work of wonder with the Little Writer's name taking all the glory (glory the writing elves want to freely give her...and a plate of cookies, if they have time).

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But when the Little Writer woke in the morning and ran to her laptop...nothing had happened. Not one single word had been typed. What was this madness? Why had the writing elves failed to produce the novel of Little Writer's dreams?

Because writing elves DON'T exist, duh? *commence eye rolling*

Little Writer had to learn it the hard way---Twix is for kids. Wait? What?

No, to produce a novel-worthy manuscript and to keep editors from wanting to punch in you in the nose when you push out a deadline, then the only thing that can be done is called BICHOK (Butt In Chair, Hands on Keyboard). There is no way around it. So guess what Little Writer did today? She put her butt in the chair and placed her hands on the keyboard and edited and wrote all day long. She did do a little Pinterest too, but who can blame her. That crap is cool :)

(Sorry, this post went a little strange, but my daughter asked me if I wished there was such things as writing elves and I couldn't think about anything else...because yes, yes I do wish writing elves existed...and shoe elves...and Keebler elves...and that hunky elf from Lord of the Rings--rrawrrr!).

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