Always an Insecure Writer...And That's a Good Thing.

It's insecurity that is always chasing you and standing in the way of your dreams.
Vin Diesel

Oh, to be a secure and self-confident writer! Even after publishing four books, and with the fifth releasing this Fall, I still have no idea how NOT to be insecure. For a while, I worried that there was something wrong with me. Shouldn't I feel better about my writing, about my stories, about everything now that I'm established as an author and I have a wonderful fan base? When will I stop worrying?

I think, for me, the answer will be never.

I will always worry. I will always wonder if I took my novels in the right direction and if my fans will be pleased. That's all that I want--to please my readers. I want them to have a great time and walk away after reading one of my stories feeling glad they took the time to read my book over the millions of other works out there.

DEAD PLAINS, Book 3, The Zombie West Series will be coming out this Fall, and boy did I worry about this book. It's the end of the trilogy and I want it to be what my readers are hoping for. I've fretted and worried for months. I've ran the book through several beta readers to get their feedback, but it wasn't until I received my content edits from my amazing editor, Melissa Sawatsky, that I finally released the breath I'd been holding all this time. She liked it. She thought it worked. She even praised me a little.

I squeed like a little girl given a pink pony tied up in a bow.

But here's the thing I've realized: I will ALWAYS feel insecure in my writing...and it's okay. Once I start to feel completely confident, then I should start to worry. That's when the world can come crashing down. Over-confidence can be a great thing, but most of the time it's not.

So as long as I always wonder, and need feedback from my trusted beta readers and from my editors, I will be okay. I'm okay! And that's okay. I know I will push through my insecurities and write again and again...that's what counts most: not to let our insecurities stop us from doing what we love <3

The task we must set for ourselves is not to feel secure, but to be able to tolerate insecurity.
Erich Fromm